Taking her back

[Tiyospaye Yazzie]

So OK this friend of mine has a problem. He found out very recently that the girl he was dating has been unfaithful. A night unfaithfulness to the guy he was dating. Yesterday she tried to resolve things without him knowing but a tip from a friend instigated suspecion and he found out about the terrible. I guess she tried to break it off with the other guy and said that she wanted to be with him (my friend) and that she had made a mistake and she tried to correct it without him finding out. My friend told me that he went to pick up his cap from her place and she wouldn't let him in. She didn't invite him in and left the front door open just a crack and closed the bedroom door got the cap and gave it back and closed it. Later she followed him out and he asked what was going on and she would not say but he knew I guess. Anyways he dumped her and asked her to be friends. Now he's thinking of going back but yet he does not want to 'cause he is afraid that she will do it again and he wants to save himself from heartache. Now he's really thinking about picking her back up, what do I tell him as a best friend? Her best friend and I were kinda discussing it this morning, I guess she was crying all night and she's feeling very depress. Do I give the green light and say be careful or say "hell no, she'll only do it again." Please help y'all.

[wannabeUrNo1Snag]

hows that sayin go??...u don't know wut u got til its gone...maybe she realized how much of a good thing they had??...n it took a nite of bein with someone else to make her see it??...me?? i wouldn't even bother takin a cheater back cuz that trust has been broken..n even if things were made ohkay..the thought would always linger..wuts he doin..whos he with...n then will i even believe him when he tells me??...cheatin n lyin are big no no's...when u snooze u lose...

[wyo_rose]

I would say he should take her back. If he really wants to, that is.

I took my exhusband back after he cheated on me. Took over a year, but he seems really sorry and promises to never do it again. Yeah right. Of course, I can never trust him completely and am ready to throw him to the curb if he messes up again.

[sarah_sarah_sarah]

She'll cheat again mark my words. Once a cheat ALWAYS a cheat! No way around the truth she wanted to stray away good send her packing. For me cheaters get no 2nd chance to do it again.

[Pony]

I say dump her...That is just my opinion.
If my man EVER cheated on me I would not want him any more because that would ruin the entire basis of our relationship...trust woud be shattered...honor would be gone...it could NEVER be the same. I would no longer be attracted to him since part of the attraction I feel toward him is is his character.

[Dezgn8veDriver]

I found this interesting....thought you may too...:)

A survey was conducted and the majority of couples who experienced infidelity all had a very peculiar commonality with their decision making on reconciling or not.

Ready for this:

IF the "cheatee" (say the wife) is better looking than their partner (say the husband), in most cases, the partner of the "cheatee" took them back.

HOWEVER;

IF the "cheatee" was/is NOT as good looking as their partner whom they cheated on, the partner in MOST scenarios told the "cheatee" to take a hike.

(from the writings of "Jealousy, the Dangerous Passion")

Think about friends or family you know that were unfaithful. Did this apply? It did for me....LMAO....:)

[true_native]

I say butt out and let them figure out what they are going to do on their own. It really is none of your business and no matter what they do, it is ultimately their decision. Let them create their own path.

[MaggieB]

Originally posted by true_native
I say butt out and let them figure out what they are going to do on their own. It really is none of your business and no matter what they do, it is ultimately their decision. Let them create their own path.

this is the best advice.

Hey i have the thought that once a cheater always a cheater. So I would not take em back. But He isn't me!

This is up to them. not us.

[thecitewailer]

Some thoughts on the topic....

I just want to say that she should really explore who she is and what this guy truly means to her.....To be with another is totally selfish, insensitive and down right MEAN! Obviously someone did not share the same feelings, if she needed to be sure about this man, then there are different ways of getting the answer, talking and being direct about one's feelings...the mature way....She chose to be with another man and was completely unsatisfied with that outcome. Trust is out the door but not off the property, especially if this guy is willing to take her back....she can only try her HARDEST!!!! to be a good woman again to that man, and if he want's to forgive her that's fine to but never forget, that's the whole point of learning from our mistakes. You now know what she is like when she is lying and covering up ****, look for those signs, there is nothing wrong with questioning, acusing is another OK....(same as Asuming) take it day by day! Sooner or later you will learn to give someone the benefit of the doubt and if they prove themselves time and time again...then trust and faithfullness will be restored.....but don't have a baby to prove it and don't get married*LOL take the time to make time!

[WolfTears]

Yep it is up to them . They have to work it out . No one else should make that choice then if it wont work its your fault for telling to go ahead . Let them work it out an support them in whatever choice they make.

[Tiyospaye Yazzie]

Bro is sticking with the "just friends" route. He figured things just will not be the same, insecurity emotions are just too great to overcome. "Thats not living a happy life, when you're constantly thinking where is she, what is she doing?" I agreed that being "just friends" is the best choice 'sides there are many finer ladies out there with the same level of loyalty as him. Plus I saw her with the other guy and it looked like she was not about to dump him, fact is she looked quite happy with him. All I can say is my homeboy deserves better, it may be none of my business but he is my friend from way back when, he is pratically my brother, no he is my brother, and if I see things that are just plain messed up I'll be the first in his face demanding for change, thats how I look out for my family of friends. The skit really hurts you deep inside, happened to me begining of this year and I will do whatever to keep my friends, my best friends, away from that kind of pain.

[Pony]

Originally posted by Runnerz
I found this interesting....thought you may too...:)

A survey was conducted and the majority of couples who experienced infidelity all had a very peculiar commonality with their decision making on reconciling or not.

Ready for this:

IF the "cheatee" (say the wife) is better looking than their partner (say the husband), in most cases, the partner of the "cheatee" took them back.

HOWEVER;

IF the "cheatee" was/is NOT as good looking as their partner whom they cheated on, the partner in MOST scenarios told the "cheatee" to take a hike.

(from the writings of "Jealousy, the Dangerous Passion")

Think about friends or family you know that were unfaithful. Did this apply? It did for me....LMAO....:)

I am not at all surprised...

[Destined to be alone]

Originally posted by Runnerz
I found this interesting....thought you may too...:)

IF the "cheatee" was/is NOT as good looking as their partner whom they cheated on, the partner in MOST scenarios told the "cheatee" to take a hike.

(from the writings of "Jealousy, the Dangerous Passion")

Yea why stay with some one who'se ugly on the outside as well as the inside.

[tradish_wiyan]

Stay out of it...let them come to their own decisions. In the end, if you do get involved...its dayumed if you do and dayumed if you don't. If they get back together (LOL, reminds me of a joke)...then she cheats on him again, your friend will blame you for telling him to get back together with her. If they don't get back together and he is miserable, he will blame you for making him miserable by telling him not to get back together with her. SO...just let them work it out on their own, they are capable of making their own decisions.

[ojibwaysweetie]

Be a good buddy and let them make their own decisions and keep on being that good buddy to them whatever they decide to do about their situation. :D