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**Spiritflight** · 02-12-2013, 04:16 AM

Originally posted by Zeke View Post

Which is why I use my real name, real photo and real location.

It's difficult to accuse someone of being "that guy" if you don't seek anonymity.

Adds credibility, even if someone disagrees with your opinion.

Oh man - if I would use my real name here - it's Ute - then people may think I am from the Ute tribe - but I am not - I am born german female and Ute is also a german first name for females taken from this german Nibelungen saga.

**Toolbox** · 02-12-2013, 08:40 AM

Everyone needs to sit back and take a deep breath and watch this clip from "Stripes":

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/0OnpkDWbeJs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

**RestlessN8iv** · 02-12-2013, 05:41 PM

Originally posted by Spiritflight View Post

ooopppsss.... that might be one solution, perhaps the 'easiest'? Not my way really, as that again would cause conflicts. Thanks for reply.

As I said, I didn't mean it literally.

Originally posted by Zeke View Post

Which is why I use my real name, real photo and real location.

It's difficult to accuse someone of being "that guy" if you don't seek anonymity.

Adds credibility, even if someone disagrees with your opinion.

Docat, Zeke,

If I seek anonymity, why do I include links to my Facebook, Twitter and blog in my signature? If anything, I'm a publicity wh

e.

**WoundedBear** · 02-13-2013, 12:08 AM

i know the feeling as i speek of one thing awhile back and mo becomes subject of the month lol. and to be honost i did not want to put a reply on subject. but i did so please don't reply to this for i will not give any unless the owner of this thread requist i do so. sincerly yours Moto'opi(Woundedbear)

**Zeke** · 02-13-2013, 02:12 AM

Originally posted by RestlessN8iv View Post

If I seek anonymity, why do I include links to my Facebook, Twitter and blog in my signature?

Nobody said you did, I'm merely stating that it adds credibility when you're accountable for what you believe.

**Elo Janis** · 02-13-2013, 01:19 PM

Good thread topic that is coming at the right time...for me anyway as my beadwork thread took the wrong turn right out of the box. For some reason, the question I was asking was spun into something that did not at all resemble the thing I was originally asking about.
I have reread all of my posts on that thread so many times only to find that nothing I said directly in any way resembled what it had turned into. The reason for the misunderstanding of such a basic question has yet to dawn on me.

On an anonymous internet forum it is easy for people to post their thoughts in a manner without thinking of how this could be interpreted by others. It is done most of the time in an innocent way, but sure enough by the time several posters read it, it has taken on a life of it's own.
Other times the most innocent topic loses it's original meaning completely due to vital portions of the story being not mentioned. It is a hard thing to do to ask for or post information while still maintaining a level of privacy and keeping your personal feelings and information out of it.
It's like that communications exercise where there the first person in a long line (or room full) of people are told one thing and by the time it reached the last person, it was totally different from what was first told to them.
To make matters worse, a person will become defensive when no defense is called for which in turn causes their cyber friends to come to their defense making posts that indicate they have their cyber friend's back.

As far as suggestions on how to defend yourself from having to take the blame for the misunderstanding or the thought process of others, my suggestion is to simply ignore those who fall out of line and do not provide any sort of answer or feedback to them that they can then use against you. If you do provide them an answer or comment that post will be taken out of context causing you further aggrevation and forcing you to provide personal information that will be used against you. It then goes on and on and on until feelings are hurt and your online forum persona has a negative reputation attached to it.
As I mentioned on another thread, I have served as moderator on several political based forums and things like this happen all the time. I would get requests from the original posters to delete their posts, sometimes their entire history of postings!! I did fulfill that request one time and it took me the better part of two days of free time to accomplish it.
Craziness in the world of internet forum posting!!

**lbgood** · 02-13-2013, 01:36 PM

Unbelievable, denial is definitely not a river in Egypt

**Zeke** · 02-13-2013, 04:51 PM

Originally posted by lbgood View Post

Unbelievable, denial is definitely not a river in Egypt

And it, apparently, runs through "NY, NY."

**reocurringdream** · 02-14-2013, 07:15 AM

Misunderstandings are hard to avoid online. It’s the nature of the medium. People don’t really know who you are or your way of thinking. It takes duration and a level of intimacy for that. You just gotta know that online messaging or forums is a ‘contact sport.’ It’s a stage for people to influence the story. There will always be the influence of the opinion of others and how they choose to dissect your statements. And I think a lot of times it’s not misunderstandings per ser, but just an opportunity for ppl to take things out on you.
And not everybody is being ‘real’ online. There are a lot of posers, deceivers, and fakes; even on this forum if you haven’t noticed. Take Docat as a real example of a poser, deceiver, or fake. Her comment on this very thread is talking like she is the ‘big mama’ or something but look at the thread about Green Coffee Extract and you’ll see how hypocritical her comments make her. In that thread, her agenda is to make ppl think I am not an Asian physician. In real life, it doesn’t change the fact that I am asian and a physician (amongst other things). But online she can make it seem something else. Docat is the creator of misunderstandings in that thread, but then the next week she poses as if she is above all that in this one. Cyber space is actually suited for deceivers like Docat, and quite a challenge to be genuine. You almost need to be a reporter through other ppl or documentation if you don’t want to be hurt using your own voice. The nature of the online medium is set against you already, and all too easy for ppl to cut others down. Even the president and Dalai Lama get cut down online. So if it’s your feelings that you are worried about, speak in small sound bites (don’t give them so much to speak against), or through other ppl; otherwise growing thicker skin might be your best option if you want to speak with your own voice.

**Spiritflight** · 02-14-2013, 07:24 AM

Originally posted by RestlessN8iv View Post

As I said, I didn't mean it literally.

Yup - understood. Don't worry, all's good.

**muskrat_skull** · 02-14-2013, 06:36 PM

Misunderstandings turn into worse when people judge others. When you judge, you are no longer listening, so your authority in the conversation is lessened. Judgemental people also score lower on scales of intellect and effective personality type. Highly perceptive people are pinpointed via personality tests used by the military, government and corporate culture to target for the highest leadership roles. It is precisely an ability to recognize and deal with shades of gray that is necessary in a leader. You cannot perceive or listen and judge at the same time.

People need to take responsibility if they've created a climate where people feel they cannot admit simple mistakes or hold another viewpoint. If people say, "hey, look I made a mistake" or "I misspoke" or "I didn't say that quite right" that they aren't humiliated. People type how they talk and without seeing people's faces and hearing their tone of voice, it is hard to know how things come across or what the poster really is saying.

I try not to hide behind misunderstanding though when I know it is not, I try to write really clearly and get bunk for that because it sounds angry when it is not. Just kind of blunt. We all do that.

And hey, I think its kind of nice when someone takes the time to debate. After all, it's Valentine's Day...

But then, what do I know? I used to love to jump on the bed! Can't you tell?

**Zeke** · 02-14-2013, 07:26 PM

Originally posted by Zeke View Post

And it, apparently, runs through "NY, NY."

Gee, I wonder who left me this passive aggressive red bead? Perhaps believing response went to others and not me? Phrasing would imply such...

"I live in NY, NY and he has anomosity against me for some untold reason, hence the comment. Never have I been in 'denial' about anything since coming on this forum. LIke many of his comments to fellow posters, it gets personal and uncalled for."

1. I have anomosity [sic] towards nothing but bad ideas.
2. Pointing out bad ideas isn't personal or uncalled for.

In fact, it's demanded so that such thoughts don't germinate.

This isn't undocumented behavior...

**WoundedBear** · 02-14-2013, 07:49 PM

Originally posted by Zeke View Post

Gee, I wonder who left me this passive aggressive red bead? Perhaps believing response went to others and not me? Phrasing would imply such...

"I live in NY, NY and he has anomosity against me for some untold reason, hence the comment. Never have I been in 'denial' about anything since coming on this forum. LIke many of his comments to fellow posters, it gets personal and uncalled for."

1. I have anomosity [sic] towards nothing but bad ideas.
2. Pointing out bad ideas isn't personal or uncalled for.

In fact, it's demanded so that such thoughts don't germinate.

This isn't undocumented behavior...

Well sex offenders no one needs as for drums never seen any one die from a drum lol this thread is about misunderstanding were do my ny come in at

**wardancer** · 02-14-2013, 08:05 PM

^^^^^^^

**Spiritflight** · 02-14-2013, 08:53 PM

Originally posted by Zeke View Post

Gee, I wonder who left me this passive aggressive red bead? Perhaps believing response went to others and not me? Phrasing would imply such...

"I live in NY, NY and he has anomosity against me for some untold reason, hence the comment. Never have I been in 'denial' about anything since coming on this forum. LIke many of his comments to fellow posters, it gets personal and uncalled for."

1. I have anomosity [sic] towards nothing but bad ideas.
2. Pointing out bad ideas isn't personal or uncalled for.

In fact, it's demanded so that such thoughts don't germinate.

This isn't undocumented behavior...

Zeke - you are cool -

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