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    Me and my folks were discussing retirement then we got to talking about old age. They want me to put them in a home when they get old but I can't do it. I'll take care of them before I see them in a home. But my dad says he doesn't want to be a burden. They did so much in raising me and putting me through school how can I put them in a home? Any you gone through this?

  • #2
    I just went through the same thing with my dad, he insisted that and I went wooooooooooow hold yer horses.

    We sat and talked and now I am with him 5 days a week at his home and on weekends I go to my home and take care of it.
    During the week I do all that I can for him after work and go shopping and buy him all kinds of treats.

    You are right we were a burden to them so now it is our turn.

    I watched as he sat squinting at his 19 inch out of focus tv and decided then and there (now 3 months ago) to buy him a brand new stereo tv but a 29 inch. It is on from the moment he wakes up until he goes to sleep. At first he told me he didn't want it and then when he saw the picture he was all smiles and told me I could leave it for a while.

    Just remember they have their pride too, it is hard for someone to admit that they need a hand and welcome the company because they do get lonely.

    Dad has now gained a good 15 pounds since I started doing this lifestyle with him, he has regained his appetite and his will power to be here.

    If they go to a home within a short time you will see two things happening, loss of spirit to live and second weight loss!

    Keep em home with you as long as you can handle it!
    Listen to my heart, not just my mouth! The most powerfull thing we can do is,,,share,,, if we don't it dies with us.

    It is the year of the bear, I am sharpening my claws and will no longer tollerate harrassment.

    Born in Winnipeg raised in the Pikwakanagan, Deutschland was never home! Army brat that had no choice in a parents duties to home and country. I Too Serve our flag and work for the uniform.
    Stand behind our troops or stand IN FRONT of them.

    Comment


    • #3
      The burden part of all this is more along the lines of the pride issue just as you said. They said I was successful with my career and didn't wish for me to risk losing that. But when the time comes I would do like you and move in with them and hope I have the financial means to maybe hire a livein nurse to help. I can see doing what you do to and have a seperete living house but I love my folks to the point of caring for them even if we have to sell the house and move. Do you ever feel burdened tibiki kinew?

      Comment


      • #4
        That is a tuff choice. I think it also will depend if how dependent they are of help? If they so sick that even a live in nurse can not help where 24 hour help is needed.


        This is some thing that take a lott of discussion between you and your parents.


        Fortunatly my family is very large and we have the way of having some one take care of my parents. Right now we do that for me grandpap.
        `~`~He kai a te rangatira he korero~`~`
        ``The food of a chief is talk``

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        • #5
          Sometimes I do wish there were two or more of me, it would make it so much easier. See it isn't just this part of my life, when I get to my home which I have rented out to a sweet NDN lady that has bounced herself in and out of the hospital several times I ended up helping her. Then for good measure I still have the healing cirlce and drumming cirlce in my home.

          We get together for movies once a month to relax as well. Then there is our potluck meal time. I love to cook and well I admit everyone that comes to my table has never left hungry.

          So yes sometimes I get in over my head and it gets me tired, but I found out that all of this comes back at me in other ways as a reward. I see the smiles on happy faces, I hear the belches after a good meal, I hear the groans of tummy stuffed to the limit. We hug and talk, nothing is to little or to trivial to hear.

          This weekend I know that there will be four couples visiting and they want me to do a sunrise ceremony for them on saturday as well.
          Listen to my heart, not just my mouth! The most powerfull thing we can do is,,,share,,, if we don't it dies with us.

          It is the year of the bear, I am sharpening my claws and will no longer tollerate harrassment.

          Born in Winnipeg raised in the Pikwakanagan, Deutschland was never home! Army brat that had no choice in a parents duties to home and country. I Too Serve our flag and work for the uniform.
          Stand behind our troops or stand IN FRONT of them.

          Comment


          • #6
            It is tough and not something I will have to do soon. But this is something I know is important other wise I don't think they would have said anything. I do wish I had a brother or sister especially for this type of thing. It does come back and thats why I think my folks deserve to have me take care of them they did so much and I'm grateful. Thanks for the advice and I'm going to discuss this with my buds this weekend.

            Comment


            • #7
              You're welcome!

              Just remember, you only have your parents ONCE, when they are gone it will be too late to help, and believe me without trying to do a guilt trip, you will regret it after and it will stay in your mind for a long time. You will wish then that you could take the clock and turn it back and then help. I lost my mother and both grandparents within a short time. I lost my one true love in an accident and in all cases I thought I could always talk about "Later." But as we all know later is too late in some cases.

              But You have to do what is right for your situtation, it depends how close you are to you parents and how sick they are. I for one do not have brothers or sisters, but I would never dump on them what I could do myself.

              I may sound harsh but it boils down to the one thing,,, how much do you Love your parents.
              Listen to my heart, not just my mouth! The most powerfull thing we can do is,,,share,,, if we don't it dies with us.

              It is the year of the bear, I am sharpening my claws and will no longer tollerate harrassment.

              Born in Winnipeg raised in the Pikwakanagan, Deutschland was never home! Army brat that had no choice in a parents duties to home and country. I Too Serve our flag and work for the uniform.
              Stand behind our troops or stand IN FRONT of them.

              Comment


              • #8
                My dad says he wouold rather stand out in the middle of the street and get hit by a truck that go into a nursing hme. I feel the same way and will not let this happen unless there is absolutely NO other alternative. My mom kind of acts like she would not mind but I think she's just saying that...
                believe in yourself

                Comment


                • #9
                  Howdy Pony,,, where have the winds taken you???
                  Good to see you back!
                  Listen to my heart, not just my mouth! The most powerfull thing we can do is,,,share,,, if we don't it dies with us.

                  It is the year of the bear, I am sharpening my claws and will no longer tollerate harrassment.

                  Born in Winnipeg raised in the Pikwakanagan, Deutschland was never home! Army brat that had no choice in a parents duties to home and country. I Too Serve our flag and work for the uniform.
                  Stand behind our troops or stand IN FRONT of them.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hell I'd shoot my toes off before that ever happend thats a white thaang to be pushing there family on some one else to care for.O U T T I E:Angel2 :Mad

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Destined to be alone
                      Hell I'd shoot my toes off before that ever happend thats a white thaang to be pushing there family on some one else to care for.O U T T I E:Angel2 :Mad
                      Right there man.


                      If any one knows? Are there many ``rest homes`` that are strictly Native? O that gear mainly toward the Natives here?
                      `~`~He kai a te rangatira he korero~`~`
                      ``The food of a chief is talk``

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Not one where I am, they are all still hangin' and chillin' at home.
                        I haven't seen a senior home other than for the white eyes.
                        Listen to my heart, not just my mouth! The most powerfull thing we can do is,,,share,,, if we don't it dies with us.

                        It is the year of the bear, I am sharpening my claws and will no longer tollerate harrassment.

                        Born in Winnipeg raised in the Pikwakanagan, Deutschland was never home! Army brat that had no choice in a parents duties to home and country. I Too Serve our flag and work for the uniform.
                        Stand behind our troops or stand IN FRONT of them.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          lol somehow this turned from parents to "wut good deeds i have done"...NEWAYZ....i would never put my parents in a home...thats jus not right at all...nor would my parents ever ask to be put in one...its called family...jus my 2...oh n wut parents would ever consider their own child a burden??

                          "You are right we were a burden to them so now it is our turn."




                          :Mad
                          "would u like to lick the frybread greaze off of my lippz??"

                          check out - http://www.iGive.com/porcupineclinic

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            My mom wouold whip my candy a$$ if I didn't take care of her when she got older. But then again, she is only 15 years older than me so we will prolly be chillin in the old age home together. Runnin that joint.

                            See, I am a diluted version of my mom. You ain't seen wild till you seen her.
                            Got percap?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by MaoriTanga
                              Right there man.


                              If any one knows? Are there many ``rest homes`` that are strictly Native? O that gear mainly toward the Natives here?
                              We have "rest homes" on our rez, that are strictly all native ummm people living there :p :Chatter :Chatter


                              I sure as hell would not put my mom in a rest home or whatever the hell they are called!!! Hellllll nooooo!!! :Mad

                              Comment

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