too fast?

[Dancin by the bay]

Yesterday I took a lady friend to a movie and then I took her home to meet my folks for dinner. She refused to come inside and insisted I take her home immediately. She said I lied to her in taking her to meet them. I meant no harm and only wanted them to meet her because she's a nice lady. I tried calling her 4 times today but she won't answer. Should I just keep tryin? Should I let her call me? My folks were upset because they feel she has some thing to hide because she wouldn't come inside and meet them. It's got me real confused.

:dontknow:help.

[kneegrow_native]

Yeah, man, I think that was too fast to meet the folks. Might have freaked her out or something.

[tradish_wiyan]

Maybe she got the wrong impression...like this was the "meet the folks, next step marriage" type thing. Did you explain to her where you stood? That this is just a friend thing?

[tradish_wiyan]

OR...maybe she has a "meet-the-parent-phobia"?

[Dancin by the bay]

Originally posted by kneegrow_native
Yeah, man, I think that was too fast to meet the folks. Might have freaked her out or something.

Ok; may be it did freak her out. But she's not taking my calls. Bro you think I should just let her call me? Or should I send her flowers or some thing like that. I'm not good with this dating thing; may be I did go to fast. Should I stop calling her?

[Dancin by the bay]

Originally posted by tradish_wiyan
Maybe she got the wrong impression...like this was the "meet the folks, next step marriage" type thing. Did you explain to her where you stood? That this is just a friend thing?

No I didn't tell her any thing I just brought her over I invited her for a movie and dinner. So we saw The Missing then I was taking her to dinner at my folks. I don't want to marry her I just wanted them to meet her as a friend. I guess I should have told her. Thats why I'm tring to call her to explain. She probably will never talk to me again now.

[~+~Heya~+~]

Man if I was in her shoes I probably wouldn't have felt very comfortable meeting your parents either. Although she could have reacted a little differently about the whole situation. And if shes not answering your calls I would just leave it alone.

[Dancin by the bay]

I tried 2 more times calling and again she didn't pick up so she has to have the caller intruder for her phone. I was brought up to bring any of my buddies to the house and meet the folks. Some people are just brought up different I guess. It's too bad because she was a nice girl. But I'll leave it alone and know next time to let my lady friends know I'd like to have them meet my folks.

Heya; why would a lady be scared to meet some one's folks if it were just a friend thing? Why would you? Would you be turned off; scared; both?:dontknow:

:Thinking

[tradish_wiyan]

Originally posted by Dancin by the bay
I tried 2 more times calling and again she didn't pick up so she has to have the caller intruder for her phone. I was brought up to bring any of my buddies to the house and meet the folks. Some people are just brought up different I guess. It's too bad because she was a nice girl. But I'll leave it alone and know next time to let my lady friends know I'd like to have them meet my folks.

Heya; why would a lady be scared to meet some one's folks if it were just a friend thing? Why would you? Would you be turned off; scared; both?:dontknow:

:Thinking

Maybe you should just let her go...if she is being that childish by not being honest with you on her comfort level then, do you really want to have a relationship where the communication is not there? Sounds like you are a very respectable man and you were raised with some good morals and ettiquete

[tradish_wiyan]

GGGRRRR...This spell check thing does that to me all the time :Yell :Mad :Yell :Mad , I try to spell check and it posts what I wrote so far :Mad

ANYWAY, for further reference let your lady friends know well ahead of time that you would like her to meet your folks as a courtesy to them...and who knows, maybe you will find Mrs. Dancing by the Bay:D . Good Luck:Angel2 :D

[Tibiki Kinew]

Dancin by the bay

It looks to me like you are over heatin' bro, slow down have a St John's Wort Tea and CHILL, no wonder she is running, darn you don't do that to a stranger, she hasn't gotten the chance to know you yet and here you go dangling the family and wedding plans and babycarriage and house and debts on her,,, just think in her shoes how you scared her off.

Don't phone her for at least a few days, give it a chance to heal and then be a little more frank with her, tell her you were raised that way, then tell her sorry for not explaining things to her..
Just popping a suprise on her like that would really get a gal to thinking "This guy is movin' way to fast for me,,,I am gone!"

my 2 cents from the pie slice

[Dancin by the bay]

Originally posted by Tibiki Kinew
Dancin by the bay

It looks to me like you are over heatin' bro, slow down have a St John's Wort Tea and CHILL, no wonder she is running, darn you don't do that to a stranger, she hasn't gotten the chance to know you yet and here you go dangling the family and wedding plans and babycarriage and house and debts on her,,, just think in her shoes how you scared her off.

Don't phone her for at least a few days, give it a chance to heal and then be a little more frank with her, tell her you were raised that way, then tell her sorry for not explaining things to her..
Just popping a suprise on her like that would really get a gal to thinking "This guy is movin' way to fast for me,,,I am gone!"

my 2 cents from the pie slice

Darn tibiki kinew thanks for the honest advice; from a guy older then me its advice I'll really take. I must have really scared her because she was really, really mad at me. Now I'm scared; scared to make another wrong move but man thanks. If she doesn't call me should I just not call her again and move on through his hard time of finding a girl friend and the dating scene?

:bestwishe
:dating:

[Dancin by the bay]

Originally posted by tradish_wiyan
Maybe you should just let her go...if she is being that childish by not being honest with you on her comfort level then, do you really want to have a relationship where the communication is not there? Sounds like you are a very respectable man and you were raised with some good morals and ettiquete

I'm thinking the same; just letting her go. I mean I have only been talking to her for 3 weeks and it was probably pretty stupid of me to think she would want to meet them but I sure didn't think she'd react so mad and all; dayumb it was just a family dinner. I think I'm getting over the hurt of her being like that but she was just so nice and really pretty. My folks did raise me in a way where I was to show respect for a lady and may be she was thinking I was going to ask her to marry me. That is really some thing that makes me laugh really hard because I wouldn't marry a lady without knowing her for at least a year.

[Tibiki Kinew]

Well can I tell you a little thing or two... Dancin by the bay, times are still the same. Things haven't really changed except that we are all in a hurry to get where we are going, it doesn't matter where, but dang we are so stuck in this rutt of thinking that we forget who we are as humans. Ya I might be older but it took me a while to realise all these things too, our Elders were not dumb when they taught us the rules.

If you really care about a person do the thing that would suprise them the most, my motto now is

"If you love somebody let them go, if they care they will come back."

Think of a bird in a cage, how cruel can you get ,,, right, no freedom, no choices, that's what you basically did to that girl.
Now set that bird free inside your house watch it fly from the cage, watch as it returns to feed, watch as it goes to sleep on its roost. It knows where home is, it knows that it has a choice.

When a fellow human comes through my door I do the same, I tell them there is the fridge, if you are hungry or thirsty there it is and guess what, they feel at home this way. There is no hidden threat or misguided info.

I could just picture how fast that gal took off from you in a hurry to get away from the cage you were putting her in!

[MissGolightly]

OK, why didn't you tell her that you were going to have dinner with your folks? Most people, male or female do not liked to be surprised by something like that. Some people don't care and some do. If I was going to have dinner with a guy's parents I would like to know before getting to the house. Oh, SURPRISE, we're having dinner with my folks!!

Oh, stop calling her. If she wanted to talk to you, she would have picked up the phone or returned your call.