No announcement yet.

God and Fat

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • God and Fat

    In the beginning, G-d created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
    Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and Krispy Creme Donuts.
    And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
    And Man said "Yeah,"
    and Woman said, "and another one with sprinkles."
    And they gained 10 pounds. And the stockholders were very happy.
    And Satan smiled.
    And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.
    Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them.
    And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
    So G-d said, "Try my fresh green salad."
    And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.
    And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the
    G-d then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."
    And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. Hilltop Steak House thrived!
    And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
    G-d created a light, fluffy white cake, named it Angel Food Cake, and said,
    "It is good."
    Satan then created chocolate cake smothered in buttery, sugary chocolate frosting and named it "Devil's Food."
    G-d then brought running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds.
    And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.
    And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
    Then G-d brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
    And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them.
    And Man gained pounds.
    G-d then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
    And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger, and then
    said "You want fries with that?"
    And Man replied, "Yeah! And super size 'em."
    And Satan said, "It is good."
    And Man went into cardiac arrest.
    G-d sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
    Then Satan created HMO's.
    "Friends don't let friends drink decaf..."
    Wakalapi's $49 unlimited phone service

  • #2
    I admire my husbands tribe "those Navajo's". My husbands grandma is in her 90's and she still has her sisters that are also in there late 80's. They lead a very simple low stress life. There muton stew and bread is enough for them. Nobody in his family is diebetic either:Thinking Must be good genes or something. Just about all my uncles or aunts are diebetic. Sugar is my weakness in life.:devil Trying my best to give up soda.:Cry


    • #3
      wallflower..ohhh sugar is bad and soda has like twelve teaspoons in each one we drink.
      "Gaa wiin daa-aangoshkigaazo ahaw enaabiyaan gaa-inaabid"


      • #4
        diabetes is a result of western foods, your husbands family following the old ways theres a reason they dont have it.


        • #5
          That's a darn good one Coffee-man - BTW - looking good in your new avy!:D


          Join the online community forum celebrating Native American Culture, Pow Wows, tribes, music, art, and history.

          Related Topics


          • kitchemanitou
            How the Computer was Created!
            by kitchemanitou

            Hi all,

            1. In the beginning GOD created the Bit and the Byte. And from those he created the Word.

            2. And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed. And God...
            06-12-2005, 11:55 PM
          • Daughter of the Mist
            And I Smiled
            by Daughter of the Mist
            01-07-2008, 12:37 AM
          • Ndn8tive
            Hopes and Desires
            by Ndn8tive
            07-23-2007, 09:41 PM
          • sneakysnake
            by sneakysnake
            A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.

            The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane....
            08-11-2010, 12:47 PM
          • Annie Fawn
            The sniffer
            by Annie Fawn
            A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane
            >>>> > when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black
            >>>> > Labrador
            >>>> > Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.
            09-17-2008, 09:16 PM



          • OLChemist
            Redhorse Cafe -- the Food Truck
            by OLChemist
            *Rose wakes Chuy up and chases him out in to the parking lot to see his new digs. She fires up the portable evaporative cooler next to the tables. *

            Chuy, some iced tea, carne adovada, calabacitas, and sopaillas, please. It's so much fun to watch WD and BA chase their napkins in the...
            06-21-2021, 12:08 PM

          Sidebar Ad