Friends???

[jingle genie]

Okay so, i have these friends from high school that still email me once in a blue moon... they all got kids right... and that's cool...as long as they're happy, i'm happy... but, the one friend (if i should even call her that) always sends me these emails making her life sounds so happy go lucky... they had one baby, a little gurl and just had another one.. her sister, another good friend of mine has a little girl, and a mutual friend of ours just had another her second baby gurl...now, i'm all happy for them but, she seems to want to rub it in my face that they all have these happy lifes and make me feel bad for not having kids... and you know, i'm going to be 25 this year and i'm in no hurry but, she kinda makes me feel like she wants to make me feel like she has a better life then i do with kids... and i'm not sure if i should say something to her or just quit responding to her emails... i'm always telling her, you know, that i'm happy if she's happy with her life, and that she sounds happy, but, i don't know... i kinda want to ask her like if she thinks she has a better life then i do with kids... i don't know... i guess i'm just not sure how to say it without creating an argument... or, maybe i'm just overreacting... i dunno...

[Kakeeya]

Good for you for not having kids yet! Live your life then when you are ready you will have children. I encourage you to get your education, go to school, get a profession etc before starting your family.
Don't let your friend make you feel bad, she probably doesn't even realize what she is doing. Prayers for you! :Angel2

[jingle genie]

Originally posted by Kakeeya
Good for you for not having kids yet! Live your life then when you are ready you will have children. I encourage you to get your education, go to school, get a profession etc before starting your family.
Don't let your friend make you feel bad, she probably doesn't even realize what she is doing. Prayers for you! :Angel2

Thanks gurlie... maybe she doesn't realize... :D

[BurBz]

:Thinking Genie... hmmmmm


I'd ask her what is up with her emails? LOL I mean i know if she was trying to beat around the bush CONTINUOUSLY in emails about how her life was sooo GRAND with kids why is she rubbin it in your face?

also....maybe some of your friends are just jealous of the life you have right now, you are engaged to be married, you have no kids yet and you have all that still ahead of you and like you said you are in no rush. And maybe they all settled down too quick and had kids etc etc and they realize how far you have come in time without kids and other responsibilities and they never got the chance to go here and there like you have.....

[Kakeeya]

Originally posted by jingle genie
Thanks gurlie... maybe she doesn't realize... :D

I agree with Burberrilish, your friend might be envious of you for not having kids yet.
I had my son when I was 19 and I wish I would have waited. But I love my son and wouldn't choose any other path that didn't include him. Now I have a granddaughter that I am helping to raise, (long story but also very glad that she is in my life).
So good for you and hang in there! You sound like you have a lot going for you. Good job! :Thumbs

[Ginger]

why not ask her if she thinks she is better than you?
tell her that it is starting to be annoying.

maybe she is jelous cause you could go any were at the drop of the hat, she has to find a sitter.

[Gold_toothed_dancer]

Yo girl let me put it to you this way say your friend got emials from you saying how you don't have kids and have this and that going for you and she says she's happy for you B U T. I say stop right there and just do as you say you do for your friends and be happy for them. yo its not HER makng you feel the way you do its YOU making you feel the way you do when she tells you about her life and her family. Think about this and not just you but all yall when we hear from friends lotta the time is for sh*TTY news like my bro just told me he jus got out of pen thats why we haven't heard from him. NOther bro just moved in with his other bro cuz his lady cheated on him and now tossed his a$z to the road. Me I lost my job and yo the list jus goe on so you know what just be fu**EN happy for you friends and if you cant be then get friends you can relate with beter and be happy for them in a true friend way.

[ac_miss]

I also agree with Burberrilish. Maybe your friend is envious of your independence, and the path you've chosen for yourself. Also, maybe she can't communicate her feelings that well, so she tends to overexaggerate her "grand" life with her kids, but then there's also the possibility that she is really happy with her kids, and is really overly communicative about that. Who knows....*shrugs*.

Enjoy life as you see fit. I know I am, and I am not rushing to have kids just yet. I just barely got married, and still have other things to do in life before I even venture down the road of parenting. Sure, most of my friends already have kids, but they've cautioned me to wait until I'm ready. So I am.

I'm 26 now, and you live only once, so my motto is..."live life to the fullest."

[Miss_Nish]

Hmm.. some ppl are juss really happy about their lives. Maybe she's juss tryna spread the joy all over. Not that you don't have any... joy in your life. Perhaps.. you could send her a lil' email about the splendid life of Jingle_Genie... Sure kids are great... but you have a life too (without kiddies).. and you're doing your thang!

There's no reason for you to feel bad cuz ya have no kids yet. Shoot.. I'm 24.. I don't feel bad that I don't have kids.. yet. I have friends that settled down when they were young and some of them feel like they should have waited. Take this time to be a lil' selfish... this is YOUR time. You're still young! :) You've got no "dependents" right now... so.. get that education.. travel that pow wow trail... and so on..

As for your buddy... juss continue to be happy for the life she's chosen for herself. (Not everyone has to live "her life" to be happy.) I have friends who do the same thing. I juss smile. :D Put yourself in her mocs... say you had a cute lil' ndn baby... with dark hair.. cute lil' fingers... chubby cheeks... you'd be a proud lil' mommy right? I'd be talking non-stop about na danis/na goosis (daughter/son).... especially if I were a new mom. Man.. I "brag" :p about my niece alll the time. I love her that much.

Maybe you can "jokingly" say... "Are you tryna rush me to have kids?"... Crackin' a joke always help me when I'm having a lil' disagreement with my sis... then we talk about why were arguin' in da first place. *ahem*.. I'm usually the one who's right. :p:Chatter Ooh well.. dats all..

[ojibwaysweetie]

Things happen for a good reason. You don't have children yet because it is not your time for children yet. Simple as that. Don't feel bad in any way, when the time is right you will have your children. Take this time and enjoy it with people you are close to, take the time and do what YOU want to do, girl! I believe in "meant-to-be's".

[Indigenous97]

BABIES??????

:D jingle genie - Hey girl!!! If I were you, I wouldn't even sweat it!!! Seriously, if your not ready to have children your not ready and you shouldn't have them until you are ready! ;)

Just be happy for your friends that they have been blessed with thier children. If your friend keeps bring it up or if she asks you about your situation. Then tell her the truth, that you would prefer to wait until "you" are ready! Then if she brings up your age, then politely her that there are plently of other women out there doing it just fine and hopefully you won't have a problem either.

I do understand though, I am in my second marriage, I have an wonderful 8yr old son. However, I am 34 now and I would definately like to have another child before I throw in the towel! However, my life has really been hard these past couple of years and my husband and I have had our hardships. So I do feel the good old "Biological Clock" banging away over there but I do know that I would like to have my life a little bit more stable before I bring another life into this world. So like I said, don't sweat it girl, it's all good!

[Smokin' Ace]

If she is really a friend, you should be able to ask her straight up what time it is. She may just be wanting to share good news. And she feels good about her choices and wants everyone to know how she is.

On the other hand, she could be very jealous of you, and wanting to make little stabs. If you truly feel this way, don't waste your time. Let her waddle in her misery. I've learned in life that some people just are unhappy - and usually the ones that tell you how happy they are over and over and over again...in truth, they are miserable.

So - it's all on you. It depends on what her relationship means to you. If she is a friend for life, talk to her and break it down. If you feel that she is just being jealous and mean, let her waddle and move on......hell you got all of us, right??? :D

[BurBz]

Originally posted by Smokin' Ace


On the other hand, she could be very jealous of you, and wanting to make little stabs. If you truly feel this way, don't waste your time. Let her waddle in her misery. I've learned in life that some people just are unhappy - and usually the ones that tell you how happy they are over and over and over again...in truth, they are miserable.

:clap:
:Thumbs...couldn't have said it better myself Smokin, just something i tend to notice with some family and friends I have. What do you do? Go on with your own life and let them snicker let them talk and don't let them bring you down. ;) I for one Nonerz...am VERY VERY Happy for you and steve and CHIEFY :p
Live life to the fullest girlie.. enjoy every minute of it, like that one saying... "Life is like a book, so make it a good one" :)

[*Kwe_Zee*]

I agree with Ace too, sounds like she's trying make things seem like she has the bombest life any one could have, when in reality she might be having problems, but in denial.

[ojibwaywmn]

Hey girl.....don't sweat it. I am going on 33 and still not ready for children. I love kids but I rather be prepared for them. I do get the odd "what?? you don't have kids?? " comment, but I say that I am lucky to keep a chia pet alive never mind having kids. As for your friends comment, tell her that the Creator will let you know when it is time. So in the meantime, you are going to take that Mexican cruise and drink Pina Coladas. :p