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  • spanking

    Unless you are being attacked,and are defending yourself,you do not have the right to strike another human being period!
    This is exactly why this society is as sick as it is........No excuse........Take a childs priviliges and be firm on it ....teach them well, the childrens hell.............

    I experienced the boarding school thing...
    Red Headed Kiowa

  • #2
    Many cultures use spanking as part of discipline, not just whites. In my family, it was part of our upbringing. We received a warning and an explanation of why we were/were not to do something and the consequences if we failed to comply. The next offense resulted in being grounded and given all sorts of tiring, dirty, and unpleasant chores-in addition to our regular chores. The 3rd offense got you a spanking. My mother and grandmother were prone to yelling, but that was unusual for our family. You'd already been told, so no more words were necessary. Besides, you don't have to yell to give anyone a good chewing out.

    Spankings were administered in a couple of ways. For little ones, uner age 6, its with the hand applied to the bottom, about 2-3 swats at most. Kids 6-10, its with a switch or belt on the butt and back of upper legs, usually no more than 2-3 licks. After age 10, spanking is dropped in lieu of grounding and working it off. It should never be administered when the parent is so angry he/she can't see straight, and a parent should never let things get to that point anyway. As Barney Fife said, nip it in the bud-discipline when it starts instead of waiting until you get pissed off.

    The exception to that in my family seemed to be if one of us told a lie or stole something. My grandfather would usually chew us out, ground us, and make us muck out the henhouse or barnyard for pretty much everything, but he pulled his belt off when we were caught in a lie, and we got more than just a couple of licks; lying and stealing were the 2 things he absolutely would not tolerate. Considering that lying was at one time punishable by death among the Cherokee, and stealing resulted in banishment, I guess getting whipped for those was getting off lightly.

    The art of discipline is to first establish the rules of conduct in your household and follow them yourself. Parents who are morally upright and who are conscientious about following the rules are modeling the behavior for their children. Want your kids to play fair and not fight with each other? Then make sure that you and your spouse do the same thing. Want your kids to be honest with you? Be honest yourself in all things with everyone. Be the kind of person you want your kids to grow up to be.

    Establish very clear and concise rules and consequences for breaking the rules, and explain them everytime there's an infraction or you see that a child is about to break them. It gets ingrained that way. And when you have to administer discipline, do so quickly while the offense is fresh on the child's mind and before you have time to get angry about it. As far as grounding goes, know what makes for the greatest deprivation according to the individual. My younger daughter would have preferred a spanking, which was over in a few seconds, to being grounded off the phone for a week. This child could talk for 8 hours straight, so no phone was as good as banishment to a deserted island for her. Either one of my boys consider being grounded off the computer to be the worst punishment. Not being able to go play with friends is sheer anguish for them too.

    I never got a spanking that I didn't deserve, and I was never beaten or abused. Same with my kids, and the rest of our family. None of us are on drugs, alcoholics, in jail, involved in domestic violence, or other unseemly behaviors. We all work, all the kids graduate from school, divorces are rare, and we're basically pretty good folks. Sure, like any family, there's a wide range of personalities, talents, ineptitudes, and a couple of village idiots(they mean well, tho). None of us is perfect, though one or two might pretend to be.

    I guess the key to it all is that we are raised in a strong, very close-knit family where the rules are very clear, discipline is applied consistantly, and we understand that what our elders do is out of love and for our own good. We are raised to think of the family first, ourselves last. And we are raised to understand that our behavior either honors or dishonors the family...and believe me, a sense of shame can be a far greater deterrant than any spanking.


    • #3
      Tsanuwa Usgolv you sound like you grew up in a good family!

      I wish I had as loving a displine as you! My sisters and I were beaten. If we were caught in a lie, then a bar of soap was shoved down our mouth.

      Neither of my sister's spanked their children, all three of the boys grew up to be juvenile deliquents who had no idea of any disipline at all, when they stole their father's car, and totalled it out when the oldest was 12 and the cousin was visiting all my brother in law said was, well they learned their lesson, and they will be grounded.

      Heaven help us, I spanked my daughter! Yup how abusive can I get, I even had the nerve to do it right in front of her precious PaPa (father in law) who swore if I ever laid a hand on that childs tail end he would call the law! Imagine a 3 yr old scared to death of a Police man because PaPa is going to have Mommy arrested! Yet that old geezer could say G Damn and anything else he wanted? Nope, I'd reach over and swat my daughter's butt every time he'd swear! Finally he got so upset he couldn't even talk straight, how dare I? Well I can't punish her for saying the same things he did, so if I teach her now that to say those things was bad then maybe it will sink in, besides I can't swat him, so I'll swat her, if he doesn't like it, then quit cussing! He Did!! (by the way, my daughter knew I wasn't hurting her, and she would actually giggle each time I'd swat)

      How hard does a swat on a diapered butt hurt? It's the thought that you are being punished!

      I did not go through the "bording school thing" but I know what it's like to be abused! There is a difference in Abuse, and Disipline, as long as you yourself know that difference and do NOT cross that line, trust me, sometimes you have no choice but to spank!! It's loads better than using a 2x4 across a back, or punching someone just for saying WOW????

      No it's never good to hit someone. I agree with that, but sometimes when it comes to children you need to learn to love them enough to get a certain point across, and if that includes a swat on the behind, then so be it! If you can raise a decent human being with out it then all the power to you.

      But to make blanket statements such as the original post, can be dangerous as well. It's that kind of mentality that got my nephew murdered.
      Last edited by Tsiniti; 02-21-2004, 10:52 PM.
      Your Heart Shows by how Your Words and Actions Affect Others.

      Nah I ain't NO WANNABE! I don't gotta wannabe when people wannabe like me!


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