Make an Obvious Lie Here

[APACHEFIRE]

there will be a landing of the ‘mother-ship’ in area 57, on christmas day. all those who wish to board, must purchase a one-way, non-refundable, time sensitive ticket, prior to boarding. all others must stay off the boarding platform until dooms day, or until the ticket expires....either of which could happen at any moment.

[APACHEFIRE]

to make the pink paint.......you have to mix white paint with red paint.........to make green paint....you have to mix blue paint with yellow paint...........to make brown paint......uh, ya dont wanna know.

[APACHEFIRE]

do you know what color general washingtons white horse was?..........it was blue with little tiny yellow polka dots.

[APACHEFIRE]

i am related to FIRST MAN........he called me mom.

[APACHEFIRE]

ok.....i know you are all laughin......time to bow down and pay me homage....then i wanna see GOLD..., and some silver....but mostly GOLD.

[APACHEFIRE]

the reason why we are almost out of RED, TECHNO used up most of it.

[APACHEFIRE]

if you cant decide....just ask TECHNO to show you his toes.

[APACHEFIRE]

..of course, we only have HOT PINK polish...and maybe a little FIRE RED.

[APACHEFIRE]

if all the men would just line up over here.....and wait their turns....all the women will give them a pedicure.

[APACHEFIRE]

about that running dryer....you better tie it down really well, FIRST, so it cant get too far.

[APACHEFIRE]

you can get a really great tan by sitting in a running dryer.

[APACHEFIRE]

would someone please take over holding the world on their back while i take a short break?

[APACHEFIRE]

its ok to take baths in hot lava...but should be done as close to the volcanoes opening as possible for maximum bubbles.

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the volcanoes in hawaii are made of paper mache. i got an A+ on that project.

[APACHEFIRE]

THERE IS NO SNOW AT THE ARTIC! its just an urban legend.