Favorite TV Episode Quote!!!

[Josiah]

OK I was reading the Favorite Movie Quotes Thread and started thinking about favorite TV Episode's Quotes
Here are a few of my Favorites:

From Taxi:

"Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Pssssttt... what does the yellow light mean?
Bobby Wheeler: "Slow down."
"Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: What... does... the... yellow... light... mean?
Bobby Wheeler: "Slow down"!
"Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Whaaaat... dooooeeees... theeeee... yeeeel-looowwww... liiiiight... meeeeaaan?


From Mary Tyler Moore Show

Chuckles the Clown: [attributed] A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.

Mary Richards: If it weren't for the rotten things that happen in this world we couldn't put on the news show. We should be grateful to all the people who do those rotten things. We should stop them in the streets and say, "Thank you Mr. Mugger, thank you Mr. Thief, thank you Mr. Maniac"!

Mash 4077

BJ Hunnicut: While under heavy gunfire looks at Radar and sees that he puts something in his mouth "Tranquillizer??
Radar: Shakes Head "Naw Chiclets"

[Josiah]

It was pointed out to me that my earlier Quotes all came from the 70's
So I updated
Here is from the only show in the 90's i watched
yes you guessed it
Seinfield!

Jerry: This isn't a good time.
Telemarketer: When would be a good time to call back, sir?
Jerry: I have an idea, why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you back later?
Telemarketer: Umm, we're not allowed to do that.
Jerry: Oh, I guess because you don't want strangers calling you at home.
Telemarketer: Umm, no.
Jerry: Well, now you know how I feel.
[hangs up phone]

George Costanza: I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think "That's why I'm not a heterosexual."

Jerry: Boy, you sure do have a lot of friends, how come I never see any of these people?
Cosmo Kramer: They want to know how come they never see you.

Frank Costanza: My George isn't clever enough to hatch a scheme like this.
Elaine: You got that right.
Frank Costanza: What the hell does that mean?
Elaine: That means whatever the hell you want it to mean.
Frank Costanza: You saying you want a piece of me?
[hits his chest]
Elaine: I could drop you like a bag of dirt.
Frank Costanza: [yelling] You want a piece of me? You got it!

[NorthofAda]

"24" is probably my favorite TV show, and there are a pile of cool quotes from that one...the best ones from Jack Bauer...

"If you don't tell me what I want to know, then it'll just be a question of how much you want it to hurt."

"The only reason that you're conscious right now is because I don't want to carry you."

"I've killed two people since midnight. I haven't slept in over 24 hours. So maybe you should be a little more afraid of me than you are now."

"You probably don't think that I can force this towel down your throat. But trust me, I can. All the way."

And the coolest quote of all...

"I'm gonna need a hacksaw."

[Ndnsoldierboy]

Bart: I'm looking for hugginkiss...first name Amanda...

Moe: Amanda Hugginkiss, is there a Amanda Hugginkiss? Why can't I find Amanda Hugginkiss?

Barney: Maybe cause you set your standards too high. haha!

The Simpsons

[kiowakat]

"DOH!"- homer

"but I don't want to watch an educational video!"- cartman, nazi episode

"stimpy my man" - ren and stimpy lol

"I don't want to wear the pirate shirt" - seinfeld

[Ndnsoldierboy]

Herrrrrrresssssss Johnnnnnnnyyy!!!!!!!

Ed McMahon

The Tonight Show

[Paul G]

Friends

The 5th dentist caved and now they all recommend Trident!

Or

Yeah, that's how they do pants, in PRISON.

[Ndnsoldierboy]

( your name here) come on down! Your the next contestant on the Price is Right!!!!

Johnny Olson

The Price Is Right

[*Brown Eyed Gurl*]

Wil and Grace:

Will: No, no. I don't want to have sex with you.
Jack: Oh, Will that wasn't sex. Okay, how do I explain this? Okay, when a man and a man love each other very much...
Will: No, no... Psychic Sue said I was going to spend the rest of my life with a guy named Jack.
Jack: Jack who?
Will: Jack you.
Jack: Jack me?
Will: No thanks.
************
Grace: Okay, here we go... that's weird. Will, what do you think is wrong?
Karen: Oh, my God. She just asked a Fairy an engine question. We're all gonna die in this car.
Will: Karen, you're not going to die. It would take a silver bullet and a wooden stake to do that.
**********
Jack: [High on coffee, and saying speedily] Hey, friends, lovers, mothers and other strangers, you are not going to believe what just happened to me... Oh, my God, did you just see that? I almost did a half nelson, I almost bruised my delicates, my delicates, my domo arigatos, Mr tomatoes. Huge News! I have met, are you ready for this, Mr Right, well, Mr Right Now. Good night, folks, I'm here all week, Jack 2000. He works at the Jumpin Java - you know, the coffee shop on seventy second and his name is Paul and he is cute with a capital Q! And the busier it gets, the hotter he gets, and the hotter he gets the sweatier he gets, and the sweatier he gets... I forgot where I'm goin with this, but the main point is me likey he and he likey me and the best part of schezam, he gives me free iced coffee every time I go in which is every hour on the hour, good nights, and occasionally on the half hour. Ba ba ba ba ba
[blows raspberry]
*********
Grace: Tonight I'm gonna be better. I know it. Look, I've been playing with myself and I feel much more confident.
Will: Funny, it just makes me feel sleepy.

********

ok i just loved the whole show...i miss it.

[middle of the sky]

'its nice to be nice to the nice'

that guy from mash that was having an affair with hoolihan

[*Brown Eyed Gurl*]

Frank?

[middle of the sky]

yes him...


'If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.'

jack handy from snl

[*Brown Eyed Gurl*]

or the cowbell skit..which is on my myspace page atm lol

[middle of the sky]

i thought these were kinda funny also

'I think a pillow should be the peace symbol, not the dove. The pillow has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have a beak to peck you with.'

'If you're ever shipwrecked on a tropical island and you don't know how to speak the natives' language, just say "Poppy-oomy." I bet it means something.'

'If you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort and say "How do you figger that!" real loud. Then lean back and sort of smirk.'

'If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind people and pinching them is probably a joke that gets old real fast.'

'I think college administrators should encourage students to urinate on walls and bushes, because then when students from another college come sniffing around, they'll know this is someone else's territory.'

omg..theres so many funny ones that im too lazy to post them all here...
you can look here and see eh

http://farstrider.net/DeepThoughts/Handey.htm

[*Brown Eyed Gurl*]

that is so funny!! lol