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  • new jokes, blondes only

    Ta'neeszahnii Techno posted a very funny joke about a blonde guy that was so funny it gave me this idea about posting a thread of only blonde jokes.. I know there must be thousands of them. Sooooo if you know of any please lets hear them...I'll start it: There was this brunette driving in the country side with the car top down, she noticed a pasture full of the prettiest white sheep. She stopped and asked the owner if she could have one, he said sure pick anyone you want. She grabbed one and started towards her car. The man started yelling and running after her saying: hey woman! If I tell you the REAL color of your hair can I please have my dog back?.......
    Last edited by little wolf; 07-31-2004, 09:47 AM.

  • #2
    A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town.

    He’s going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, “OK jerk, I’ve heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person’s physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It’s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person…because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large…all in the name of humor.”

    Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, but the blonde pipes up, “You stay out of this mister, I’m talking to that little ******* on your knee!”
    sigpic

    ...And shephards we shall be. For thee my lord, for thee. Power hath descended forth from thy hand. That our feet may swiftly carry out thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to thee. And teeming with souls shall it ever be. E Nomini Patri, E Fili, E Spiritu Sancti.

    Comment


    • #3
      Returning home from work, a blonde is shocked to find her house burglarized. She telephones the police, and a nearby K-9 unit is the first to respond. As the officer and dog approach the house, the woman storms out onto the porch and shouts, “I get robbed, I call the police for help, and they send me a blind cop?”
      sigpic

      ...And shephards we shall be. For thee my lord, for thee. Power hath descended forth from thy hand. That our feet may swiftly carry out thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to thee. And teeming with souls shall it ever be. E Nomini Patri, E Fili, E Spiritu Sancti.

      Comment


      • #4
        50.. that was good! heres one: One night in a Las Vegas casino a cowboy got thirsty and decided to get a coke from the machine.. When he got there he noticed a blonde lady putting in 50 cents pressing the button, out pops a coke and she hollers.. ALL RIGHT..then grabs the coke and puts in another 50 cents presses the button and hollers ALL RIGHT again..All this is going on while the cowboy is trying to dig 50 cents out of his tight jean pocket.. Finally getting the money out and waiting and waiting on the blonde.. he decides to ask her " Hey lady, can I please use the machine?" She turns and says " Don't bother me now can't you see I'm winning?'..

        Comment


        • #5
          You guys got some good ones! Here's a couple-

          How are a blonde & a turtle alike?

          When they're on their backs they're screwed.


          How are blonde & a mosquito different?

          The mosquito stops sucking when you smack it.
          If you cannot find what you seek within, you will not find it without.

          Comment


          • #6
            owl eyes.. those are funny! heres another one: how do you drown a blonde? you put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

            Comment


            • #7
              !!!! That was a good one!:rofl2:
              If you cannot find what you seek within, you will not find it without.

              Comment


              • #8
                Glad u liked it owleyes, heres another one: How do you put a sparkle in a blonde's eyes? You shine a flash light in her ear!!!! ha ha ha ---- i just love blonde jokes!

                Comment


                • #9
                  :lol2: :Thumbs loved that one too!
                  If you cannot find what you seek within, you will not find it without.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hey, how do you know that a blonde has made chocolate chip cookies?????..... You see the m & m hulls all over the floor!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      A group of blondes were willing to prove that not all blondes
                      were dumb. They established a judges panel of people to ask the
                      questions. On the day of the judging the people started off by
                      asking, "What is 59+2?"
                      The first blonde contestant responded by saying, "57?"
                      The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give
                      her another chance!"
                      Then they asked, "What is 15-5?"
                      The blonde responded, "20 right?"
                      Once again the rest of the contestants screamed, "Give her
                      another chance, give her another chance!"
                      The judges decided to go easier on her and asked, "What is 1+2?"
                      "3?" said the blonde.
                      The rest of the blondes say, "Give her another chance, give her
                      another chance!"
                      don't you be wastin' all your money
                      on syrup and honey because i'm sweet enough





                      Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        here's another one :)

                        A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are running from the cops,
                        they hide on a potato farm. They crawl into some potato bags,
                        the first cop pokes the bag with the brunette in it, she
                        says "meow" the cop confirms that it is just a cat. The second
                        cop pokes the bag with the redhead in it she says "woof". The
                        cop says that it is just a dog. The third cop pokes the bag
                        with the blonde in it she say in her sweetest voice "POTATO."
                        don't you be wastin' all your money
                        on syrup and honey because i'm sweet enough





                        Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          A blonde girl has just gotten fired. Her boss has always called
                          her a dumb blonde.

                          She is driving down the road when she sees a blonde girl in the
                          middle of a wheat field rowing a canoe.

                          She pulls over, gets on the roof of her truck,and says,"IT'S
                          BLONDES LIKE YOU WHO GIVE BLONDES LIKE US A BAD NAME! BUT IF I
                          WAS'NT SCARED OF WATER I'D COME OUT THERE AND KICK YOUR AZZ!"
                          don't you be wastin' all your money
                          on syrup and honey because i'm sweet enough





                          Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            A state trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and
                            approaches the blonde lady driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason
                            that you're weaving all over the road?" The woman replied, "Oh
                            officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident!
                            I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved
                            to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved
                            to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
                            Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror,the
                            officer replied, "Ma'am...that's your air freshener."
                            don't you be wastin' all your money
                            on syrup and honey because i'm sweet enough





                            Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              So have you heard of the blonde coyote?

                              Apparently, the blonde coyote got into a trap. She chewed off three of her feet, but she was still stuck in the trap!


                              Okay, this wasn't funny.

                              Comment

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