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Corporate Lessons!

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  • Corporate Lessons!

    >Corporate Lesson #1
    >A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
    >shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
    >towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
    >the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, I'll give you
    >$800 to drop that towel."
    >After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
    >in front of Bob.
    >After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.
    >The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she
    >gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
    >"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
    >"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes
    >Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
    >credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position
    >to prevent avoidable exposure.
    >Corporate Lesson #2
    >A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs,
    >forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
    >After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
    >The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.
    >But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
    >The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
    >The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
    >Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the
    >church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
    >It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
    >Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might
    >miss a great opportunity.
    >Corporate Lesson #3
    > A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
    >lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes
    >out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
    >"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the
    >Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's
    >"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,
    >relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
    >Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
    >"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I
    >want those two back in the office after lunch."
    >Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
    >Corporate Lesson #4
    > A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked
    >him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow
    >answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the
    >crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
    >Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
    >very high up.
    >Corporate Lesson #5
    >A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
    >the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy."
    >"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're
    >packed with nutrients."
    >The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough
    >strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
    >The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
    >Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of
    >the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of
    >the tree.
    >Moral of the story: Bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't keep
    >you there.

  • #2
    I like all of those. They are funny and have a point too!


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