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Corporate Lessons!
>Corporate Lesson #1
>A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
>shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
>towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
>the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, I'll give you
>$800 to drop that towel."
>After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
>in front of Bob.
>After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.
>The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she
>gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
>"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
>"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes
>me?"
>
>Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
>credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position
>to prevent avoidable exposure.
>
>Corporate Lesson #2
>A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs,
>forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
>After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
>The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.
>But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
>The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
>The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
>Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the
>church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
>It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
>
>Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might
>miss a great opportunity.
>
>Corporate Lesson #3
> A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
>lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes
>out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
>"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the
>Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's
>gone.
>"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,
>relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
>Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
>"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I
>want those two back in the office after lunch."
>
>Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
>
>Corporate Lesson #4
> A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked
>him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow
>answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the
>crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>
>Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
>very high up.
>
>Corporate Lesson #5
>A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
>the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy."
>"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're
>packed with nutrients."
>The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough
>strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
>The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
>
>Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of
>the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of
>the tree.
>
>Moral of the story: Bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't keep
>you there.
>A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
>shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
>towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
>the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, I'll give you
>$800 to drop that towel."
>After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
>in front of Bob.
>After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.
>The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she
>gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
>"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
>"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes
>me?"
>
>Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
>credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position
>to prevent avoidable exposure.
>
>Corporate Lesson #2
>A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs,
>forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
>After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
>The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.
>But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
>The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
>The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
>Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the
>church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
>It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
>
>Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might
>miss a great opportunity.
>
>Corporate Lesson #3
> A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
>lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes
>out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
>"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the
>Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's
>gone.
>"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,
>relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
>Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
>"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I
>want those two back in the office after lunch."
>
>Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
>
>Corporate Lesson #4
> A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked
>him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow
>answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the
>crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>
>Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
>very high up.
>
>Corporate Lesson #5
>A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
>the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy."
>"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're
>packed with nutrients."
>The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough
>strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
>The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
>
>Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of
>the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of
>the tree.
>
>Moral of the story: Bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't keep
>you there.
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