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Bart Simpsons Chalkboard Archive

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  • Bart Simpsons Chalkboard Archive

    Bart Simpson's Chalkboard Archive[/URL]

    I will not carve gods.
    I will not spank others.
    I will not aim for the head.
    I will not barf unless I'm sick.
    I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
    I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
    I will not conduct my own fire drills.
    Funny noises are not funny.
    I will not snap bras.
    I will not fake seizures.
    This punishment is not boring and pointless.
    My name is not Dr. Death.
    I will not defame New Orleans.
    I will not prescribe medication.
    I will not bury the new kid.
    I will not teach others to fly.
    I will not bring sheep to class.
    A burp is not an answer.
    Teacher is not a leper.
    Coffee is not for kids.
    I will not eat things for money.
    I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
    The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
    I will not call the principal "spud head".
    Goldfish don't bounce.
    Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.
    No one is interested in my underpants.
    I will not sell miracle cures.
    I will return the seeing-eye dog.
    I do not have diplomatic immunity.
    I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
    I will never win an emmy.
    The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.
    All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
    I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
    I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
    My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
    I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
    I am not deliciously saucy.
    Organ transplants are best left to professionals.
    The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan".
    I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
    There are plenty of businesses like show business.
    Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
    I will not waste chalk.
    I will not skateboard in the halls.
    I will not instigate revolution.
    I will not draw naked ladies in class.
    I did not see Elvis.
    I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes".
    Garlic gum is not funny.
    They are laughing at me, not with me.
    I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom.
    I will not encourage others to fly.
    I will not fake my way through life.
    Tar is not a plaything.
    I will not Xerox my butt.
    It's potato, not potatoe.
    I will not trade pants with others.
    I am not a 32 year old woman.
    I will not do that thing with my tongue.
    I will not drive the principal's car.
    I will not pledge allegiance to Bart.
    I will not sell school property.
    I will not burp in class.
    I will not cut corners.
    I will not get very far with this attitude.
    I will not belch the National Anthem.
    I will not sell land in Florida.
    I will not grease the monkey bars.
    I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment.
    I will not do anything bad ever again.
    I will not show off.
    I will not sleep through my education.
    I am not a dentist.
    Spitwads are not free speech.
    Nobody likes sunburn slappers.
    High explosives and school don't mix.
    I will not bribe Principal Skinner.
    I will not squeak chalk.
    I will finish what I sta
    "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender.
    Underwear should be worn on the inside.
    The Christmas Pageant does not stink.
    I will not torment the emotionally frail.

  • #2
    Thanks! I needed that...
    “People once believed that when someone dies a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead, but sometimes something so bad happens that a terrible sadness is carried with it and the soul can’t rest. Then sometimes, just sometimes the Crow can bring the soul back and put the wrong things right.”

    I WISH.............


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