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+------------- Bizarre Deaths in the Bathroom -------------+
HELIOGABALUS (204-222), emperor of Rome
* After he had ruled four years, his homosexuality, eccent-
ricity, and worship of the Syrian god Baal turned the
Praetorian Guard, his own bodyguards, against him. He tried
to hide in a latrine with his mother. Discovered, they were
both murdered. Their heads were cut off and their bodies
were dragged to the Tiber, weighted, and thrown into the
river.
ARIUS (256?-336), Christian theologian and heretic
* Suffering agonizing pain in the bowels, he went to the
toilet. There he expired, probably from poison.
EDMUND II, (980?-1016), King of England
* According to an old account, he was murdered, "stabbed
from beneath as he answered a call of nature."
JAMES I (1394-1437), king of Scotland
* As assassins tried to break down the entrance door to
Perth Abbey, King James sought a hiding place, and finally
secreted himself in a small toilet. A lady-in-waiting,
Katherine Douglas, joined him. When she heard the assassins
approach, she shoved her arm through the bolt ring to hold
it firm. The assassins smashed down the door, broke her arm,
and attacked the king with daggers and swords. He died with
16 wounds in his chest alone.
HENRY III (1551-1589), king of France
* Just as he was about to leave the lavatory, King Henry was
assaulted by a fanatical Jacobin friar, who drove a blade
into the king's stomach and killed him. The clerical murderer
was himself stabbed to death, but his corpse was put on
trial for the assassination.
ARTHUR CAPEL, EARL OF ESSEX (1631-1683), English politician
* Imprisoned in the Tower of London, he sat down on the
toilet and calmly committed suicide by cutting his throat.
GEORGE II (1683-1760), king of Great Britain and Ireland
* After a breakfast of hot chocolate, he went to the bath-
room. His German valet, waiting outside, heard a thump, ran
inside, and found the monarch dead on the bathroom floor.
LENNY BRUCE (1925-1966), American comedian
* Discovered dead in his bathroom from an overdose of heroin.
ELVIS PRESLEY (1935-1977), American singer
* Dropped dead in his bathroom, either of natural causes or
excessive drugs. He died at the same age his mother had died
--42.
***
+------------- Bizarre Deaths in the Bathroom -------------+
HELIOGABALUS (204-222), emperor of Rome
* After he had ruled four years, his homosexuality, eccent-
ricity, and worship of the Syrian god Baal turned the
Praetorian Guard, his own bodyguards, against him. He tried
to hide in a latrine with his mother. Discovered, they were
both murdered. Their heads were cut off and their bodies
were dragged to the Tiber, weighted, and thrown into the
river.
ARIUS (256?-336), Christian theologian and heretic
* Suffering agonizing pain in the bowels, he went to the
toilet. There he expired, probably from poison.
EDMUND II, (980?-1016), King of England
* According to an old account, he was murdered, "stabbed
from beneath as he answered a call of nature."
JAMES I (1394-1437), king of Scotland
* As assassins tried to break down the entrance door to
Perth Abbey, King James sought a hiding place, and finally
secreted himself in a small toilet. A lady-in-waiting,
Katherine Douglas, joined him. When she heard the assassins
approach, she shoved her arm through the bolt ring to hold
it firm. The assassins smashed down the door, broke her arm,
and attacked the king with daggers and swords. He died with
16 wounds in his chest alone.
HENRY III (1551-1589), king of France
* Just as he was about to leave the lavatory, King Henry was
assaulted by a fanatical Jacobin friar, who drove a blade
into the king's stomach and killed him. The clerical murderer
was himself stabbed to death, but his corpse was put on
trial for the assassination.
ARTHUR CAPEL, EARL OF ESSEX (1631-1683), English politician
* Imprisoned in the Tower of London, he sat down on the
toilet and calmly committed suicide by cutting his throat.
GEORGE II (1683-1760), king of Great Britain and Ireland
* After a breakfast of hot chocolate, he went to the bath-
room. His German valet, waiting outside, heard a thump, ran
inside, and found the monarch dead on the bathroom floor.
LENNY BRUCE (1925-1966), American comedian
* Discovered dead in his bathroom from an overdose of heroin.
ELVIS PRESLEY (1935-1977), American singer
* Dropped dead in his bathroom, either of natural causes or
excessive drugs. He died at the same age his mother had died
--42.
***
"Riches from the heart can not be stolen."
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