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Is Hell endothermic or exothermic?

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  • Is Hell endothermic or exothermic?

    this belongs in several places, ill start here

    The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University

    of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so

    "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the

    Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of

    enjoying it as well.

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic

    (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs

    using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is

    compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how
    the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at

    which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are

    leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to

    Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

    As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
    Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state

    that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

    Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do

    not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go

    to Hell.

    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of

    souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
    change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order

    for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume

    of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives



    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

    enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase

    until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in

    Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes


    So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa

    during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I

    sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her

    last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell

    is exothermic and has already frozen over.

    The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it

    follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,

    extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a

    divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh

    my God."

    Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
    --Robert A. Heinlein
    "Opinions are like ***-Holes, Everybody has one, Most of them Stink"--Me

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