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top 10 reasons to live in canaduh
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
Weed
Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges
The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder
The local wine doesn't taste like malt vinegar
Your $400,000 Vancouver home is 5 hours from downtown
A university with a nude beach
You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations
If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your hash
There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on
Cannabis
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
Big Rock
Preston Manning
Tax is 7 percent instead of approx. 200 percent
The Premier is a fat, wife-beating alcoholic with a grade 4 education
Flames vs. Oilers
Stamps vs. Eskies
You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of
Eventually, it will be your town's turn to ban VLT's (Video Lottery Terminals)
The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups
You can attempt to murder your rich oil tycoon husband and get away with it
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
You never run out of wheat
Those cool Saskatchewan Wheat Pool hats
Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning
Your province is really easy to draw
You never have to worry about roll-back if you have a standard
It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor's house
YOUR Roughriders survived
You can watch the dog run away from home for hours
People will assume you live on a farm
Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have beachfront property
Amusing town names like "Flin Flon" and "Winnipeg"
All your local bands make it big and move to Toronto
The only province to ever violently rebel against the federal government
Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes
Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter
You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work
You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood
Because of your license plate, you are still "friendly" even when you cut someone off
Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
You live in the center of the universe
Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump
You and you alone decide who will win the federal election
There's no such thing as an Ontario Seperatist
Your grandparents sold booze to the States during Prohibition
Lots of tourists come to Toronto because they mistakenly believe it's a cool city
The only province with hard-core American-style crime
MuchMusic's Speaker's Corner - rant and rave on national TV for a dollar
Baseball fans park on your front lawn and pee on the side of your house
Mike Harris: basically a sober Ralph Klein
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
Everybody assumes you're an asshole
Racism is socially acceptable
The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians
You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbor will move out next
Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada
The FLQ
Your hockey team is made up entirely of dirty French guys
The province with the oldest, nastiest hookers
NON-smokers are the outcasts
You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *******s"
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
You are sandwiched between French assholes and drunken celtic fiddlers
One way or another, the government gets 98 percent of your income
You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies
When listing the provinces, everyone forgets to mention yours
The economy is based on fish, cows, and ferrying Ontario motorists to Boston
No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
You have French people, but they don't want to kill you
Everybody has a Grandfather who runs a lighthouse
Just as charming as Maine, but with more unemployed fishermen
You probably live in a small seaside cottage with no television
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
The only place in North America to get bombed in WW1 ... by a moron who set a munitions ship on fire
Your province is shaped like male genitalia
Everyone is a fiddle player
If someone asks if you're a Newfie, you are allowed to kick their ***
The local hero is an insane, fiddle playing, sexual pervert
The province that produced Rita MacNeil, the world's largest land mammal
You are the reason Anne Murray makes money
You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an excuse to wear a kilt
The economy is based on fish, lobster, and fiddle music
Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax is considered Canada's most beautiful city
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE ON PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big-*** bridge
You can walk across the province in half an hour
You were probably once an extra on "Road to Avonlea"
This is where all those tiny red potatoes come from
The economy is based on fish, potatoes, and CBC TV shows
Tourists arrive, see the "Anne of Green Gables" house, then promptly leave
You can drive across the the province in two minutes
It doesn't matter to you if Quebec separates
You don't share a border with the Americans, or with anyone for that matter
You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
The poorest, stupidest, drunkest province in Confederation
If Quebec Seperates, you will float off to sea
In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make them kiss a dead cod
The economy is based on fish, seafood, and fish-related products
If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse
You understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics
The work day is about two hours long
You are credited with many great inventions, like the solar-powered flashlight and the screen door for submarines
If someone asks if you're from Nova Scotia, you are allowed to kick their ***
It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders on your wedding day
Weed
Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges
The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder
The local wine doesn't taste like malt vinegar
Your $400,000 Vancouver home is 5 hours from downtown
A university with a nude beach
You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations
If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your hash
There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on
Cannabis
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
Big Rock
Preston Manning
Tax is 7 percent instead of approx. 200 percent
The Premier is a fat, wife-beating alcoholic with a grade 4 education
Flames vs. Oilers
Stamps vs. Eskies
You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of
Eventually, it will be your town's turn to ban VLT's (Video Lottery Terminals)
The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups
You can attempt to murder your rich oil tycoon husband and get away with it
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
You never run out of wheat
Those cool Saskatchewan Wheat Pool hats
Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning
Your province is really easy to draw
You never have to worry about roll-back if you have a standard
It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor's house
YOUR Roughriders survived
You can watch the dog run away from home for hours
People will assume you live on a farm
Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have beachfront property
Amusing town names like "Flin Flon" and "Winnipeg"
All your local bands make it big and move to Toronto
The only province to ever violently rebel against the federal government
Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes
Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter
You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work
You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood
Because of your license plate, you are still "friendly" even when you cut someone off
Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
You live in the center of the universe
Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump
You and you alone decide who will win the federal election
There's no such thing as an Ontario Seperatist
Your grandparents sold booze to the States during Prohibition
Lots of tourists come to Toronto because they mistakenly believe it's a cool city
The only province with hard-core American-style crime
MuchMusic's Speaker's Corner - rant and rave on national TV for a dollar
Baseball fans park on your front lawn and pee on the side of your house
Mike Harris: basically a sober Ralph Klein
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
Everybody assumes you're an asshole
Racism is socially acceptable
The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians
You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbor will move out next
Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada
The FLQ
Your hockey team is made up entirely of dirty French guys
The province with the oldest, nastiest hookers
NON-smokers are the outcasts
You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *******s"
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
You are sandwiched between French assholes and drunken celtic fiddlers
One way or another, the government gets 98 percent of your income
You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies
When listing the provinces, everyone forgets to mention yours
The economy is based on fish, cows, and ferrying Ontario motorists to Boston
No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
You have French people, but they don't want to kill you
Everybody has a Grandfather who runs a lighthouse
Just as charming as Maine, but with more unemployed fishermen
You probably live in a small seaside cottage with no television
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
The only place in North America to get bombed in WW1 ... by a moron who set a munitions ship on fire
Your province is shaped like male genitalia
Everyone is a fiddle player
If someone asks if you're a Newfie, you are allowed to kick their ***
The local hero is an insane, fiddle playing, sexual pervert
The province that produced Rita MacNeil, the world's largest land mammal
You are the reason Anne Murray makes money
You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an excuse to wear a kilt
The economy is based on fish, lobster, and fiddle music
Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax is considered Canada's most beautiful city
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE ON PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big-*** bridge
You can walk across the province in half an hour
You were probably once an extra on "Road to Avonlea"
This is where all those tiny red potatoes come from
The economy is based on fish, potatoes, and CBC TV shows
Tourists arrive, see the "Anne of Green Gables" house, then promptly leave
You can drive across the the province in two minutes
It doesn't matter to you if Quebec separates
You don't share a border with the Americans, or with anyone for that matter
You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
The poorest, stupidest, drunkest province in Confederation
If Quebec Seperates, you will float off to sea
In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make them kiss a dead cod
The economy is based on fish, seafood, and fish-related products
If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse
You understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics
The work day is about two hours long
You are credited with many great inventions, like the solar-powered flashlight and the screen door for submarines
If someone asks if you're from Nova Scotia, you are allowed to kick their ***
It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders on your wedding day
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