WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee..
Her son is on the cover of the Wheatie's box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said,
"It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
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WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton....05-18-2005, 12:45 PM -
>The Silent Treatment
>A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
>other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
>he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight....02-14-2006, 01:05 AM -
You have choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
__________
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'...09-15-2009, 02:55 PM -
Joke of the Day
Because of the shortage of jobs in the town, a boy applied for work on a farm.
The foreman told him to milk a cow, equipping him with a stool and bucket.
An hour later the boy returned dirty and sweaty, bucket in one hand and broken stool in the...04-25-2005, 09:01 PM -
Marriage (Part I)
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding,
he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't
expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the...01-15-2007, 02:38 PM