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marriage funnies

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    Marriage (Part I)
    Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding,
    he laid down the following rules:
    "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't
    expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table
    unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting,
    fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't
    you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

    His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there
    will be sex here at seven o'clock every night.... whether you're here or

    ( SHE'S GOOD!)

    Marriage (Part II)
    Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding

    The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,
    'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'

    "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,
    "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'"


    Marriage (Part III)
    Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
    Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either,"
    and storms out of the house.

    After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and
    rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated
    says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"

    She says, "I was in bed."
    "In bed this early, doing what?"
    "Getting a second opinion!"

    Marriage (Part IV)
    A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud
    of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of
    her objections.

    One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home
    and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at
    the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?"

    His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back,
    "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."


    God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough draft
    before the masterpiece
    Roses are Red
    Violets der really blue
    Southern Xtreme ur much sweeter than mutton stew

    You asked me whose life was more important- yours or mine and I answered "mine" ; you walked away angry not knowing that you are my life


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