This one is so crazy it's funny!

[Singing Eagle]

A DAMN FINE EXCUSE ..........................


The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!"


And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened."


"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed," but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"


And the husband began -- "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.



Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same."


The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, "Please ... do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"





Disclaimer - Singing Eagle declines any knowledge or responsibility should any husband decide to use this story for their own indiscretions.

[wardancer]

[tsalagigirl]

[badmaninc]

Sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[middle of the sky]

sounds like a true story

[..AmuneOne..]

That was a ood one..

[Chevy_truckin_NDN]

holayyyyyyy.....LOL good one there.

[tikiboo]

Got to Love This Little Girl

A Teacher asked her class "What do you want out of life?"

Little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is 4 little animal's Just like my Mom always says."

The teacher asked, "Realy and what 4 little animals would that be?"

The little girl said, "A Mink for my back, A Jagura for my gargage, A Tigar in my bed, and a Jackass to pay for
all of it.

the teacher fainted

(Take a lesson ladies)

[southernx_hunnie08]

lol dang those were to funny i was laughin for about 5 mins...lol

[tikiboo]

The End is Near

A local priest & Pastor were fishing on the side of the road.
They thoughtfully made a sign that said
"The End is Near! Turn yourself around before it's too late."
and showed it to each passing car.
One driver who drove by didn't appreciate the sign, and shouted "Leave us alone you religious Nuts"
All of a sudden they heard a big splash, looked at each other and the priest said to the pastor, "You think maybe we should have just said, "Bridge OUT" instead

tikiboo

[southernx_hunnie08]

A local priest & Pastor were fishing on the side of the road.
They thoughtfully made a sign that said
"The End is Near! Turn yourself around before it's too late."
and showed it to each passing car.
One driver who drove by didn't appreciate the sign, and shouted "Leave us alone you religious Nuts"
All of a sudden they heard a big splash, looked at each other and the priest said to the pastor, "You think maybe we should have just said, "Bridge OUT" instead

tikiboo

geez makes me want to listen even if don't want to

[tikiboo]

The Importance of Fresh fruit

Two boy's aged 8 & 4, were discussing Adam & Eve.
The 8 yr. old asked, "How did Adam and Eve die?"
the 4 yr. old said,"They ate bad fruit!"