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The Female Demerit System

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  • The Female Demerit System

    The Female

    Demerit System

    Do something she likes. You get points.

    Do something she dislikes. Points are subtracted.

    You do not get any points for doing something she expects.

    Here is a guide to the point system:

    SIMPLE DUTIES
    You make the bed (+1)
    You make the bed but forget the decorative pillow (0)
    You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
    You go out to buy her something she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)
    You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
    You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
    You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
    You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
    It is her pet (-20)

    SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
    You stay by her side the entire party (0)
    You stay by her side for a while and then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
    Named Tina (-10)
    Tina is a dancer (-20)
    Tina has silicone implants (-80)

    HER BIRTHDAY
    You take her out to dinner (+2)
    You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3) Okay. It is a sports bar (-2)
    And it's all you can eat night (-3)
    It's a sports bar, it's all you can eat night and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

    A NIGHT OUT
    You take her to a movie (+1)
    You take her to a movie she likes (+3)
    You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
    You take her to a movie you like (-2)
    It's called Death Cop (-3)
    You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

    YOUR PHYSIQUE
    You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
    You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
    You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
    You say 'It doesn't matter. You have one also.' (-8000)
    0
    THE BIG QUESTION
    She asks 'Do I look fat?' (-5)
    Yes, you lose points no matter what.
    You hesitate in responding (-10) 0
    You reply 'Where?' (-35)
    Any other response (-20)

    COMMUNICATION
    When she wants to talk about a problem you listen, displaying a concerned expression (0)
    You listen 30 minutes (+50)
    You listen 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
    She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)

    GOOD LUCK WITH THIS !
    Courage is just fear that has said it's prayers.

  • #2

    okay, its my birthday, and my guy took me to a potluck -2
    but he helped make stockings with me for native foster kids..and didnt' complain once! +10
    "I tried being normal once, worse 2 mins of my life!"

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