General Jokes

[Bodica]

I've had this one running around in my head for a few days now, so I thought I'd tell it, and get it out of my system...

Rabbit was walking around the desert one day, when he came accross Coyote.
Coyote was stirring somthing in a pot over a fire.
Rabbit sat down a bit away from him, and said "What are you doing, Coyote?"
"I have a great idea!" said Coyote, adding various things to the pot.
Rabit scratched an ear.
"Didn't you learn anything from the last "great idea" that you had?" he asked.
"Shut up!" said Coyote.
"This potion will make me irrisistible to all females!" Coyote said.
Rabit rolled his eyes.
"If you want to be attractive to females, you might consider taking a bath one in awhile." he said to Coyote.
"Where did you get this recipe, anyway?".
"I got it from Fox." Coyote said.
Rabbit rolled his eyes again.
"Riiight. Because we all know how trustworthy Fox is." Rabbit said.
"Not that I'm one to talk.", Rabbit thought.
Coyote ignored him. and threw some powder into the pot.
Suddenly there was a huge explosion.
When the smoke cleared, Coyote was coughing, and covered from head to toe in soot.
"Well," said Rabbit, "that's what happens when you practice unsafe hex.

[Josiah]

A Polarbear walks into a Bar
Bartender says what will you have?
Polarbear says "I will have a gin.......................................and tonic.
Bartender says ok but why the long pause?

Polarbear says "dont know, I was born with them"
(holding up his paws)

[soopashinaab]

A Pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his manhood
Bartender says "Did you know you have a ship's wheel on your manhood?"
The Pirate replies... "Arrr... It drives me nuts!"

[Bodica]

Greetings!!
LOL
now thats funny!

I can't claim credit for it...my parents told that joke all the time when I was a kid.
However....
There is certain joke that has been twirling around in my head for a couple of days now...

[Josiah]

(Hi Josiah. 'Nice to meet you. )

Two men meet in a bar.
The first one says "So where did you go to college?"
The second one says "Texas A & M. Where are you from?'.
The first one replies "Yale".
The second one takes a deep breath, and says "WHERE ARE YOU FROM?!"

Greetings!!
LOL
now thats funny!

[Bodica]

(Hi Josiah. 'Nice to meet you. )

Two men meet in a bar.
The first one says "So where did you go to college?"
The second one says "Texas A & M. Where are you from?'.
The first one replies "Yale".
The second one takes a deep breath, and says "WHERE ARE YOU FROM?!"

[Josiah]

A naked guy walks into a bar with a pair of jumper cables wrapped around his neck and orders a Scotch and soda. The bartender says, "O.K., but don't start anything."

[Josiah]

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!".

The grasshopper says "You have a drink named Leonard?!".

[Bodica]

A woman goes to the doctor's office...
The doctor comes in and says "So what seems to be the problem?"
The woman says "Well, my arm hurts when I bend it like this." (bends arm)
The doctor says "Well don't bend it like that".

[shadeznbraidz]

a baby seal walks into a club

[Josiah]

One more time!!!

A Sandwich walks into a Bar

Bartender yells:
"Hey we dont serve your kind!!"

[Josiah]

A termite walks into a bar

Asks: "Hey were is the Bar tender?"

[Josiah]

A Horse walks into a Bar

Bartender asks "Hey why the long face"

[Bodica]

Three guys walked into a bar...
The fourth one ducked.

[soopashinaab]

or this one

Pharmacy Notification:

As of January 31st, 2009 due to the failing economy Viagra will only be available under it's generic name Micoxafloppin.