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Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large
bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the
Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman
behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since
I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told
her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting
the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably
shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened
in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of
most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and
that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets
with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every
time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete
so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I
have to mention here that practically everyone in line was
now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the
dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to
sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a
heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let
me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They
have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
Forward this to all your retired friends......it will be their Laugh for the Day!
bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the
Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman
behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since
I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told
her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting
the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably
shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened
in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of
most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and
that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets
with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every
time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete
so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I
have to mention here that practically everyone in line was
now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the
dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to
sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a
heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let
me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They
have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
Forward this to all your retired friends......it will be their Laugh for the Day!
What a perfect way to start my day!!
I'm innocent I tell ya!!!
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