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True Doctors Notes

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  • True Doctors Notes

    True Doctor's Notes
    > >
    > > A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going
    > > to have her baby in
    > > the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab,
    > > lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her
    > > underwear. Suddenly I
    > > noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in
    > > the
    > > wrong one. Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX
    > >
    > >
    > > At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope
    > > on an elderly and
    > > slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
    > > "Big
    > > breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be,"
    > > remorsed the patient.
    > > Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
    > >
    > > One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I
    > > told a wife that her
    > > husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
    > > Not
    > > more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting
    > > to the rest of the
    > > family that he had died of a "massive internal
    > > fart." Dr.
    > > Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada
    > >
    > > I was performing a complete physical, including the
    > > visual acuity test.
    > > I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and
    > > began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He
    > > read the 20/20 line
    > > perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read.
    > > "Now
    > > both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't
    > > even read the large E
    > > on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had
    > > done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there
    > > with both of his
    > > eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the
    > > exam. Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA
    > >
    > > During a patient's two week follow-up appointment
    > > with his cardiologist,
    > > he informed me, his doctor, that he was having
    > > trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I
    > > asked. "The patch.
    > > The nurse told me to put on a new one every six
    > > hours
    > > and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had
    > > him quickly undress
    > > and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see... Yes,
    > > the
    > > man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the
    > > instructions include
    > > removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
    > > Dr.
    > > Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk,
    > >
    > > I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked,
    > > "So how's your
    > > breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for
    > > the
    > > Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the
    > > taste," the patient
    > > replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman
    > > produced
    > > a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly." Dr. Leonard
    > > Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
    > >
    > > and Finally . . . . .
    > >
    > > A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite
    > > embarrassed
    > > performing female pelvic exams. To cover his
    > > embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of
    > > whistling softly.
    > > The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing
    > > this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further
    > > embarrassed him. He
    > > looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm
    > > sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor,
    > > but the song you
    > > were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer
    > > Wiener'." --won't admit his name


    :lol2:
    *~*~*~Do Not Lead me in to Temptation I can Find it myself*~*~*~ :D :uptosomet

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