No announcement yet.

The New Priest

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • The New Priest

    A new priest
    at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
    After mass he
    asked the monsignor how he had done.

    The monsignor
    replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous

    On the pulpit,
    I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.

    If I start to
    get nervous, I take a sip."

    So next Sunday
    he took the monsignor's advice.
    At the
    beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
    He proceeded
    to talk up a storm.

    Upon his
    return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

    Sip the vodka,
    don't gulp.

    2) There are 10 commandments, not

    3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.

    4) Jesus was consecrated, not

    5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he
    did not bet his as*.

    6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ
    as the late J.C.

    7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
    are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.

    8) David slew Goliath, he did not
    kick the sh*t out of him.

    9) When David was hit by a rock
    and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ***.

    10)We do not
    refer to the cross as the "Big T."

    11)When Jesus
    broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it
    is my body." He did not say " Eat me" .

    12)The Virgin
    Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.

    recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah

    14)Next Sunday
    there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter-pulling
    contest at St. Taffy's.
    (¯`·._)Ït §M꣣$ £¡kë ®åíñßÕw§ (¯`·._)

  • #2
    goot one..


    Join the online community forum celebrating Native American Culture, Pow Wows, tribes, music, art, and history.

    Related Topics


    • wardancer
      Men Never Listen
      by wardancer
      In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.

      A nurse noticed his predicament.

      Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."...
      03-29-2007, 06:53 PM
    • Paul G
      A New Experience
      by Paul G
      Posted by crazywolf

      "Hey Boss, I need to have next Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off if you can spare me."
      "Personal reasons."
      "Are you going to another pow wow?"
      11-28-2006, 01:09 PM
    • Yellowhair1850
      Wounded Knee Creek ... December 1890
      by Yellowhair1850
      They were the only ones in that area, but about one hundred yards to the north, men, women and children were huddled at the bottom while soldiers stood above and shot down at them. Every once in a while he could here someone shout, “Remember the Little Bighorn.” The Seventh was getting its...
      10-18-2011, 03:10 PM
    • suthernwaterbird
      Chuck Norris
      by suthernwaterbird
      * When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

      * Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

      * There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed
      01-24-2008, 09:20 AM
    • kitchemanitou
      Darwin Awards 2005{1-5}
      by kitchemanitou
      http://www.d arwina13 January 2005, Croatia) One fateful afternoon, 55-year-old Marko retreated to his semi-detached workshop to make himself a tool for chimney cleaning. The chimney was too high for a simple broom to work, but if he could attach a brush to a chain and then weigh it down with something,...
      05-01-2006, 02:14 AM



    There are no results that meet this criteria.

    Sidebar Ad