Tweet
Ever spoken and wished you could take the words back, or
that you
could crawl into a hole? Here are a few
people who do....
I walked into a hair salon with my husband
and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a
shampoo and a blo* job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My
husband didn't say a word... he knew better.
Melinda Lowe, 39,
************************************************** **********************
An insurance man visited me at home to talk
about our mortgage
insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts
and figures at me, and I
wanted to follow as best I could, so I told
my 6-year-old son to
run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me
a Kotex right in front of our guest.
> > > > Kathy Newman, 46
>
************************************************** **********************
I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son
came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper.
Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and
took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included
one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative
called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take
a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to
discover that in addition my son, I had captured my reflection in
the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!
> > > >
> > > > Name Withheld
> > > >
>
************************************************** **********************
I was at the golf store comparing different
kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been
using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one
of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked
if He could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
"I think I like playing with men's balls."
> > > >
> > > > Colleen Collins, 31
> > > >
************************************************** **********************
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No,
I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically,
the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
my sister has never let me forget.
Faye Emerick, 34
> > > >
>
************************************************** **********************
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my
toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I
was finally able to grab hold ofher after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not
start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she
looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you
don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this
enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were
doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the
bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door
closed behind me were screams of laughter. Amy Richardson
> >
************************************************** **********************
Have you ever asked your child a question
too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems
with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at
Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a
full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was
clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while,
so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking,
"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes
with me..." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an
accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an
accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I asked one more
time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time
he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his
cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people
nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up
his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking
me for the best laugh they'd ever had! > > > >
>
************************************************** **********************
This had most of the state of Michigan
laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who
will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you
predict snow but don't get any.....a true story...We had a female news
anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you
promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but
half the crew did too, they were laughing so hard!
that you
could crawl into a hole? Here are a few
people who do....
I walked into a hair salon with my husband
and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a
shampoo and a blo* job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My
husband didn't say a word... he knew better.
Melinda Lowe, 39,
************************************************** **********************
An insurance man visited me at home to talk
about our mortgage
insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts
and figures at me, and I
wanted to follow as best I could, so I told
my 6-year-old son to
run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me
a Kotex right in front of our guest.
> > > > Kathy Newman, 46
>
************************************************** **********************
I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son
came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper.
Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and
took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included
one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative
called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take
a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to
discover that in addition my son, I had captured my reflection in
the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!
> > > >
> > > > Name Withheld
> > > >
>
************************************************** **********************
I was at the golf store comparing different
kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been
using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one
of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked
if He could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
"I think I like playing with men's balls."
> > > >
> > > > Colleen Collins, 31
> > > >
************************************************** **********************
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No,
I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically,
the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
my sister has never let me forget.
Faye Emerick, 34
> > > >
>
************************************************** **********************
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my
toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I
was finally able to grab hold ofher after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not
start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she
looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you
don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this
enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were
doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the
bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door
closed behind me were screams of laughter. Amy Richardson
> >
************************************************** **********************
Have you ever asked your child a question
too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems
with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at
Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a
full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was
clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while,
so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking,
"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes
with me..." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an
accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an
accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I asked one more
time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time
he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his
cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people
nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up
his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking
me for the best laugh they'd ever had! > > > >
>
************************************************** **********************
This had most of the state of Michigan
laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who
will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you
predict snow but don't get any.....a true story...We had a female news
anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you
promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but
half the crew did too, they were laughing so hard!
Thanks for the laughs very funny! I especially liked the woman in the shower story, sounds like something that I would do or could relate to as I have a toddler granddaughter that follows me everywhere. :Chatter
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