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wished you could take the words back

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  • wished you could take the words back

    Ever spoken and wished you could take the words back, or
    that you
    could crawl into a hole? Here are a few
    people who do....

    I walked into a hair salon with my husband
    and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a
    shampoo and a blo* job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My
    husband didn't say a word... he knew better.
    Melinda Lowe, 39,

    ************************************************** **********************
    An insurance man visited me at home to talk
    about our mortgage
    insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts
    and figures at me, and I
    wanted to follow as best I could, so I told
    my 6-year-old son to
    run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me
    a Kotex right in front of our guest.
    > > > > Kathy Newman, 46
    ************************************************** **********************
    I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son
    came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper.
    Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and
    took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included
    one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative
    called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take
    a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to
    discover that in addition my son, I had captured my reflection in
    the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!
    > > > >
    > > > > Name Withheld
    > > > >
    ************************************************** **********************
    I was at the golf store comparing different
    kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been
    using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one
    of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked
    if He could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
    "I think I like playing with men's balls."
    > > > >
    > > > > Colleen Collins, 31
    > > > >

    ************************************************** **********************
    My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
    variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
    behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No,
    I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically,
    the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
    my sister has never let me forget.
    Faye Emerick, 34
    > > > >
    ************************************************** **********************
    While in line at the bank one afternoon, my
    toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I
    was finally able to grab hold ofher after receiving looks of disgust
    and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not
    start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she
    looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you
    don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you
    kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this
    enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were
    doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the
    bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door
    closed behind me were screams of laughter. Amy Richardson
    > >
    ************************************************** **********************
    Have you ever asked your child a question
    too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems
    with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at
    Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a
    full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
    so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was
    clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while,
    so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking,
    "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes
    with me..." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an
    accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an
    accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I asked one more
    time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time
    he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his
    cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people
    nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up
    his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking
    me for the best laugh they'd ever had! > > > >
    ************************************************** **********************
    This had most of the state of Michigan
    laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who
    will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you
    predict snow but don't get any.....a true story...We had a female news
    anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
    turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you
    promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but
    half the crew did too, they were laughing so hard!
    "I know that you’ve been damaged, your soul has suffered such abuse, but I am not your savior, I am just as screwed as you."

  • #2
    i'd probably crawl under a rock and hibernate
    yeah, yeah, yeah...

    ...never underestimate the power of stupid people in groups...

    If quizzes are "quizical"...What are tests?


    • #3
      :D Thanks for the laughs very funny! I especially liked the woman in the shower story, sounds like something that I would do or could relate to as I have a toddler granddaughter that follows me everywhere. :Chatter


      • #4
        What a whoot!

        No one "makes us" feel anything, we choose to feel, act, and react the way we do. ~~Nino's Philosophy

        I am not the Creator and therefore cannot "save" anyone. The path one walks is between the individual and the creator; not to be judged by me. ~TurtleWoman


        • #5
          Bead All You Can Bead


          • #6
            omg that taco bell one was just tooo funny

            You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling And ooh wee it's the ultimate feeling
            You got me lifted feeling so gifted Sugar how you get so fly?¿?

            ****Mary had a little lamb but grandma butchered it****


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