No announcement yet.

Pet Monkey

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Pet Monkey

    A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
    The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

    The guy says, "No, what?"

    "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!", says the bartender.

    "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little *******. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.

    Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his aZZ, pulls it out, and eats it.

    The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks.

    "Now what?", responds the patron.

    "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his aZZ, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.

    "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that cue ball he measures everything first!"
    There's 3 types of people in this world those that can count and those that can't.

  • #2
    I laughed on this joke too. What a endin!!!



    • #3
      ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!:D :D :Chatter :Chatter :Chatter
      Great ending!!!!!
      yeah, yeah, yeah...

      ...never underestimate the power of stupid people in groups...

      If quizzes are "quizical"...What are tests?


      • #4
        i laughed so hard i almost well never mind u people dont need to know my buisness lol

        You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling And ooh wee it's the ultimate feeling
        You got me lifted feeling so gifted Sugar how you get so fly?¿?

        ****Mary had a little lamb but grandma butchered it****


        Join the online community forum celebrating Native American Culture, Pow Wows, tribes, music, art, and history.

        Related Topics


        • ghostbread killer
          a vacationing penquin
          by ghostbread killer
          a penquin is driving thru the arizona desert, he notices his check engine light come on. he gets out his car and sees theres oil leaking from his engine. so he drives to the nearest town. he drives to a mechanic shop and drops his car off, and he decides to check out the town, he sees a ice cream parlor....
          08-10-2008, 01:59 AM
        • Annie Fawn
          The Preachers Son
          by Annie Fawn
          An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the
          boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.

          Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do,
          and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

          One day, while...
          06-22-2008, 08:52 PM
        • TsiyaGeyaWillis
          The Offer
          by TsiyaGeyaWillis
          The Offer

          A millionaire throws a massive party for his fiftieth birthday. During the party, he's a bit bored and decides to stir things up a bit. He grabs the mic and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it....
          04-11-2007, 09:25 PM
        • Paul G
          A New Experience
          by Paul G
          Posted by crazywolf

          "Hey Boss, I need to have next Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off if you can spare me."
          "Personal reasons."
          "Are you going to another pow wow?"
          11-28-2006, 01:09 PM
        • wardancer
          Drunk Again !
          by wardancer
          Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy.. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.

          He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by...
          03-29-2008, 11:25 AM



        There are no results that meet this criteria.

        Sidebar Ad