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what is the most humorous native joke you heard?

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  • #16
    At a Pow Wow a couple weekends ago, I saw a bumper sticker for sale that said "I am half white but I can't prove it"

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    • #17
      Ok i know this is more than one joke, but i just found a new joke site


      Two Chippewas boarded a flight out of Denver. One sat in the window seat; and the other in the middle seat. Just before takeoff a Lakota got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Chippewas. The Lakota kicked off his moccasins, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Chippewa in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a Coke." "No problem" said the Lakota, "I'm in the aisle seat, I'll get it for you!" While he was gone, one of the Chippewas picked up the Lakota's moccasin and spit in it. When he returned with the Coke, the other Chippewa said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too." Again, the Lakota said "Not a problem" and while he was gone the other Chippewa picked up the other moccasin and spit in it. The Lakota returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the rest of the flight. As the plane was landing, the Lakota slipped his feet into his moccasins and knew immediately what had happened. "My brothers, how long must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our tribes? This Hatred? This animosity? This spitting in moccasins and peeing in Cokes?"

      Bronze Rat

      A Kiowa guy went to chinatown in San Francisco. While there he found a bronze rat in one of the shops. "How much do you want for the rat" he asked the shopkeeper "$3 for the rat and $1000 for the story that goes with it" said the shopkeeper. Just give me the rat" said the Kiowa and he then left the shop with his unusual find. As he walked down the street he noticed a couple of rats following him. Then as he walked further and further more and more rats started chasing him down the street. By the time he got to the bay, there were thousands of rats chasing him, so he climbed up a pole and threw the bronze rat into the water. To his amazement, all the rats jumped into the water. The Kiowa then returned to the shop. "Ahh" said the shopkeeper "Now you would like to hear the story?" "No, NO" said the Kiowa, "I just came back to see if you had any bronze white men!"

      How can you tell the difference between a Non-native ghost and a Native ghost?
      The Non-native ghost says "BOO"
      The Native ghost says "BOO........Ayye!"

      My Man

      There was a Kiowa Man and a Apache Man both of them wanted this Sioux woman. So, the Sioux woman said who ever uses Liver and Cheese best in a sentence is who I will choose. The Kiowa man smiled and said if you choose me I will make you a liver and cheese sandwich you will never forget....The Apache man said "Liver alone Cheese mine!"

      FOR THE PEOPLE.....

      Four men gather on the top of a 30-story building, an East Indian, a Japanese, a Native American, and a White man.
      The East Indian guy says, "this is for my people!" and he jumps off the building.
      The Japanese says, "This too is for my people!" and jumps off.
      The Native American proudly says, "This is for my people" and pushes the White Man off........

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      • #18
        What is the diference between a native and a bench




        a bench can support a family

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        • #19
          Originally posted by bruce60001 View Post
          What is the diference between a native and a bench




          a bench can support a family
          OH NO....
          I just, oh no.

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          • #20
            Why do seaguls have wings?
            To beat the natives to the dump.
            What is an empty beer can on the side of the road?
            A native artifact

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            • #21
              haha no "ndns" are in hell...funny how they talk about him like he's not even there

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              • #22
                What do you call an Indian with one leg shorter than the other?

                Not even


                What's the word for gambling in Anishinaabemowin?

                Dijamaawin
                Native people were chosen by the Creator to be an example to the world.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by midnightwater View Post
                  :hey!: plz. share your most humorous native joke you heard...
                  this came close:

                  YouTube - dakota navajo joke


                  but this one was my favorite:

                  YouTube - Lakota Spoof

                  I'm not responsible for my actions, I just do what the voices tell me to do.

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                  • #24
                    two old ndn brothers decide to get off the rez for the first time in thier lives. just once before they die they wanted to see a big city.
                    theyre sitting a bench in a big public rec area when a little white girl walks up and invites them to join her family's cook out.thinking maybe white people arent so bad afterall they take her up on her offer and follow her over to the cook out.
                    they go through the introductions and answer the well meaning questions; where you from, any family in the area, how long you in town..etc,etc,etc.
                    the little girl comes back up to the two old ndn brothers and hands them each a paper plate asking if they'd care for a hotdog.
                    the brother look at each other and take a bite.
                    then one brother says to the other "what kind of dog did she day this was?"

                    The older I get the less of a deterrent life without parole gets

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by bruce60001 View Post
                      What is the diference between a native and a bench




                      a bench can support a family
                      This is just wrong...DAMN FUNNY, but wrong! LMFAO!
                      The true meaning of life........

                      Life is all about a$$; you're either covering it, laughing it off,
                      kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, or
                      behaving like one.

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                      • #26
                        How do ya know that disney's Pocahontas movie is only a fairy tale?
                        ...all the white people went home in the end.


                        An Ojibway Elder went to a conference on the enviroment in India. While there he took a walk in the jungle. While walking through the jungle he accidentally stepped into some quick sand and started sinking. All of a sudden he hears a long loud call through the jungle as a half naked man swings past on a vine, swoops up the Ojibway Elder and sets him on the ground. The Elder puts his hand to his chest and says "Miigwiich". The half naked man replies (in the same manner) " me Tarzan"

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                        • #27
                          when modern medicine fails...

                          there is this white guy who is very ill and he's been seen by the top doctors and they all say he has a few months live.... he over hears two navajo men talking about a medicine man and how he took all his sickness away... so the white man see's a young navajo boy and asks him if he knows where he can find a nevajo medicine man... the boy tells him to wait here and he'll be right back... a few mins later the boy comes running back and tells the white man to follow him, "my grandfather is a medicine man and he'll help you"... they arrive at the grandfather hogan and the grandfather shows the white man where to sit and what to do, then asks the white guy, "why are you here?"... the white guy talks about his illness and that the doctors tell him he has only a few months to live... so the grandfather proceeds in praying and chanting and while he's doing so, the family cat wonders into the hogan right up to the grandfather... he tries to shoo the cat away with his foot, but the cat keeps on rubbing up against his leg, hissing toward the white man... when the old man was done praying he grabbed the cat and slowing rocked it back and forth in mid-air, between him and the white guy... everytime the cat came close the white man, it would hiss and the old man did this four times.... when all was done, the white man asked the old man, "how much do i owe you?".... grandfather said, "$5 for the prayer and pollen, $500 for the cat scan"


                          thats what u get 4 breaking my heart...

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                          • #28
                            It's an old one everyone's probably heard, but hey x)


                            When Indians were the sole occupants of this land, there were no taxes, no bills, no mortgages, no debt, no schools, no centralized government, no military draft, no banks, no stock markets, no nuclear weapons, and the women did all the work.
                            And white men thought they could improve this system.

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                            • #29
                              Ha ha haaaaaa.
                              That's funny. Your posts are very great. Thanks.

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                              • #30
                                hello

                                One more late congrats! I hope you had a good one!
                                Last edited by ilshririd; 10-20-2009, 09:25 PM.

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