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bad puns - worse jokes

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  • bad puns - worse jokes

    Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was asalted.



    A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says, "I'll serve you, but don't
    start anything."



    A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in
    here."



    A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

    A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A
    beer please, and one for the road."



    Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony
    wasn't much, but the reception was great.



    Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste
    funny to you?"



    "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'"

    "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."

    "Is it common?"

    "It's not unusual."

    Two cows were standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly,
    "I was artificially inseminated this morning."

    "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" Exclaimed Daisy.



    A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts. The shrink
    says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."



    Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."

    The other says, "Are you sure?"

    The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

    A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed. Is
    there anything you can do for him?"

    "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and
    examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to
    have to put him down."

    "What? Because he's cross-eyed?"

    "No, because he's really heavy."



    Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my
    family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad, or maybe my
    older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha Chu. But I'm pretty sure
    it's Colin.



    I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find
    any.

    I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn't
    reach the meat on the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."



    A man came to the hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor,
    doctor, I can't feel my legs!"

    The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut off your arms".



    I went to a seafood disco rave last week and pulled a mussel.



    A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the
    doc.

    "It's... um...well... I have five penises" replies the man.

    Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?"

    "Like a glove."

    What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
    Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos.

    What you do today might burn your a** tomorrow. LOL SO TRUE..


    :Chatter :Chatter :Chatter :p :p
    "I AM BUT A MIST OF WATER IN A RAIN STORM""FOR I HAVE MUCH TO LEARN."

  • #2
    Sitting here laughing all by myself....my co-workers are looking at me like I'm crazy!:Chatter :Chatter :Chatter :Chatter

    Comment


    • #3
      so this guy walks into a bar

      -k- so this guy walks into a bar.......BAM!!!
      ushoo' udish dee'

      Comment


      • #4
        hahahahaha....giggling to myself here HAHAHA:D :Chatter :Chatter
        :Angel2
        yeah, yeah, yeah...

        ...never underestimate the power of stupid people in groups...

        If quizzes are "quizical"...What are tests?

        Comment


        • #5
          Man, I'm sitting here laughing at work. It's amazing how some things so dumb can be so funny. Thanks for posting.:Chatter
          If you are what you eat.... I'm fast, cheap and easy.

          Comment

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          • Ginger
            corney jokes
            by Ginger
            Ok heres a couple of corney jokes!

            What do you call a fish with no eyes?
            A fsh.

            Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

            A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

            ...
            01-31-2005, 09:26 PM
          • melissa_blackbull
            a CHEYENNE AND TOILET PAPER.
            by melissa_blackbull
            A Cheyenne man goes into a grocery store, and asks for a package of toilet paper. The clerk offers him 3 kinds, Charmin, Best Brand, and Generic. The Cheyenne man takes the generic. He comes back in a week later, throws the remainder of the toilet paper at the store clerk and says, "I don't want...
            01-31-2004, 11:30 AM
          • bebem_5
            Check out this native these jokes!!! their rib tickling funny!!
            by bebem_5
            :)

            Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

            TRADITIONAL INDIAN: Those chiggens weren't traditional because they were supposed to be on it - not crossing it!
            INDIAN GRANDPA: I think it was runnin' away from rezidential school.
            URBAN INDIAN: That chicken crossed...
            01-26-2004, 03:59 PM
          • biidabinukwe06
            cowboy in a bar....
            by biidabinukwe06
            a cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. " what the heck," he says to himself, I really wanna drink."
            when they gay bartender approaches, he says to the cowboy, " what's the name of your penis?"
            the cowboy says, " look I'm...
            03-29-2004, 04:50 PM
          • Crow_hunny_420
            The cowboy and the bartender
            by Crow_hunny_420
            The cowboy and the bartender
            >
            >A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay
            >bar.
            >"But what the heck," he says to himself, "I really want a drink."
            >When
            >the gay waiter approaches, he says...
            12-18-2003, 06:39 PM

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