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Check out this native these jokes!!! their rib tickling funny!!

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  • Check out this native these jokes!!! their rib tickling funny!!

    :)

    Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

    TRADITIONAL INDIAN: Those chiggens weren't traditional because they were supposed to be on it - not crossing it!
    INDIAN GRANDPA: I think it was runnin' away from rezidential school.
    URBAN INDIAN: That chicken crossed the road 'cause it was a city, man. You know what I mean?
    NEW AGE INDIAN: It was basically because of Jungian dream therapy, drumming, sweatlodges, my shaman, and long walks on the beach, near my beach house.
    POW WOW INDIAN: That chicken must have been heading to a 49! Hey yah ho! EDUCATED INDIAN: I think it has to do with Einstein's Theory of Relatives which basically posits: "Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?"
    KFC INDIAN: I'll take a leg, a thigh, with corn and potatoes. Extra Crispy, please.
    TRIBAL INDIAN COUNCIL: The chicken crossed the road before we did? Fire his family!!!
    CASINO INDIAN: That's my favorite slot!


    A cowboy riding across the prairie came upon an Indian laying on a wagon trail with his ear to the ground. The Indian said, "Covered wagon pulled by a team of four horses. One bay, one black and two grey. The driver had curly red hair with a beard and his wife wore a blue dress and bonnet.
    "The cowboy said, "That's amazing. You mean you can tell all that just by laying on the ground with your ear on the trail?"
    The Indian replied, "No, they ran me over an half an hour ago."


    It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had
    never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he
    couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.
    Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.
    But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"
    "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
    So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.
    A week later he called the National Weather Service again.
    "Is it going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."
    The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"
    "Absolutely," the man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever.
    "How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.
    The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy."


    A priest decided he wanted to learn how to ride a horse so he asked one of his Native friends in a nearby reserve to teach him. The Native agreed and off they went. The priest soon learned how to get on the horse but was confused as to how to make it go. The Native guy said "just say Alleluia" so the priest did and the horse began to trot around. The priest said "how do I make it go faster?" The Native guy said "say Alleluia, Alleluia". So he tried and sure enough the horse went faster. One more time and the horse took off, running like a race horse. The priest saw a cliff up ahead and yelled how do I make it stop and the Native guy said "Whooa" So the priest said "whoooa" and the horse screeched to a stop right at the end of the cliff. The priest wiped his forehead, relieved and yelled "Alleluia"!


    Stranger in Indian Country
    A tourist traveling through the prairies stopped in a small town for a rest stop and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar, ordered a drink, and lit up a cigar.

    As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings. After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, a big angry Indian guy stomped up to him and said, "One more remark like that and I'll smash your face in!!


    A woman is driving nearby a local reserve. Her car runs out of gas, an Indian guy comes along on a horse, gives her a ride to a gas station. Every few minutes he lets out a whoop that would curdle milk. Finally, he drops her off with a final Yaaaaa-Hooo! and gallops off.

    "My god!" says the gas station attendant, "What the hell were you doing to that guy to make him holler like that?"

    "Why, nothing," says the woman, "I just sat behind him with my arms around him, holding onto his saddle horn."

    "Lady," says the guy, "That guy didn't have a saddle."


    It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale and an advertisement in the local paper were the main reasons for the long line that formed in front of the store by 8:30, the store's opening time.


    A Letter From a Redneck Mother to her Daughter

    Dear Child,

    I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

    This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works too well though. Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since. The weather isn't too bad here, it only rained twice last week.

    The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

    We got another bill from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes.

    John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.

    Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl your sister is going to name it after me; she's going to call it mom.

    Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

    Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

    There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

    Love, Mom


    A kindergarten teacher was playing a game with her class. "Now kids," she started, "I am going to hide something behind my back and I will give you clues. I want you to guess what I am hiding."

    She takes the first object and hides it behind her back, "Now what I have is round but not too round and it's orange but not too orange. Can anybody tell me what it is?" Little Suzie raises her hand and asks, "Is it an orange?"

    "No," says the teacher, "it's a tangerine, but you're thinking and I like that." She then hides another object and says, "Now what I have is red but not too red, and it's round too but not too round. Can anybody tell me what it is?"

    Little Rachel raises her hand and asks, "Is it an apple?" "No," says the teacher, "it's a tomato, but you're thinking and I like that."

    Little Billy can't resist and raises his hand, "Can I play?Please let me hide something, PLEASE." The teacher says that he can try so he takes his hand and reaches way down deep in his pocket.

    "Now what I have is long but not too long and it's got a pink tip but not too pink," grins Billy broadly. The teachers face turns three shades of red and she screams, "Billy sit down this instant. I am going to call your mother."

    Billy just smiles and pulls his hand out of his pocket. "It's a pencil, but you're thinking and I like that."


    A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students.

    The teacher asked, "Johnny what is your problem?" Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!" The teacher had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office. While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave.

    The teacher agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions are explained to him and he agrees to take the test.

    Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
    Johnny: "9"

    Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
    Johnny: "36"

    And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the third grade." The teacher says to the principal, "May I ask him some questions?" The principal and Johnny both nod in agreement.

    The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
    Johnny, after a moment: "Legs."

    Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
    The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer. Johnny replied, "Pockets."

    The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I missed the last two questions."

    The end

    any other good jokes???
    c'mon share them with the powwow world
    JINGLE ALL THE WAY!!
    simple as that!

  • #2
    :Chatter :Chatter :Chatter

    Comment


    • #3
      Funny

      Comment


      • #4
        4 terrorists are on the top of a building. ones a mischikoso (white guy), another is an Arab, the third is a Chinese guy, and the fourth one is an NDN guy.

        The first guy jumps the Arab, jumps off screaming to his death "THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE"

        The second guy goes, The Chinese guy, jumps off the building
        screaming to his death, "THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE"

        Then the third guy comes up, the NDN guy, "THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE" and pushes the white guy off the building

        ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Indian joe goes to the bar while walking his dog at 9:00am to have a few. he forgot what time it was, by 11:30 he was pretty drunk and he forgot all about his dog. Simakinis (COPS) come to him and say, "JOE, your dog is in heat"

        "No occifer he says, i left my dog in the shade"

        simakinis "No Joe, your dog is in heat"

        No occifer, i tied my dog up in the shadow

        "Sorry Joe, you don't know what i mean, your dog is in HEAT, its having sex right now"

        Oh thats okay occifer, I ALWAYS WANTED A POLICE DOG

        ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

        INDIAN JOE gets taken home by the simakinis after hes been drinking too much and goes up to the door. The cops made sure he made it to his bedroom so they walked with him to his room

        "u see thisa door mr. occifer, thats my door", so he takes them in

        "U see these steps Mr. occifer, those are my steps" so he takes them up his steps

        "U see this door Mr. occifer, thats my bed room door"so he goes in the room

        "U see this bed Mr. occifer, thats my bed" says Joe

        "U see that lady in that bed mr. occifer, thats my wife", again says Joe

        "U see the man in that bed with my wife Mr. occifer, THATS ME"

        __________________________________________________ __


        An NDN guy walks into a pawn shop in San Fancisco and sees a golden rat. The NDN asks the pawn shop dealer what the Golden Rat does and the dealer says it gets all the mice to follow it wherever it goes.
        so he buys the golden rat and walks down the street. as he is walking a Rat comes out of the alley and follows his golden rat.
        a 2nd rat follows then soon a third one then 10, then 30 rats follow the NDN guy and his golden rat.
        Pretty soon all of the rats in San Francisco are following the NDN guy and his golden rat.

        He goes to the bay area and throws the golden rat into the ocean, he gets suprised when all The rats jumped into the ocean after the golden rat.

        The next day the NDN guy goes back to the pawn shop and asks them if they sell any GOLDEN WHITE PEOPLE.

        __________________________________________________ __


        I know some more but they are pretty racist
        Last edited by Snaggin_NDN; 01-27-2004, 12:50 AM.
        "If God wanted me to be a white man he would have done so in the first place" -Sitting Bull

        Comment


        • #5
          That's where all the rats are!

          :p

          Comment


          • #6
            :Chatter :Chatter :Chatter
            :huddle: Learn to associate with the white man, learn his ways, get an education. With an education, you are his equal; without it, you are his victim. - Chief Plenty Coups, Crow

            Comment


            • #7
              In the first post I started an email with the first five or something. That's funny, gotta love them!

              Comment


              • #8
                I liked them all... Thanks

                Comment


                • #9
                  With our luck the golden white one would come back and bring more back too.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    So you don't know Jack Schitt?

                    He's the only son of Awh Schitt. Awh Schitt and Oh Schitt. Awh Schitt , the fertilizer magnate, married Oh Schitt, the owner of the Kneedeep Schitt Inn. Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. They produced six children; Holy Schitt, their first passed on shortly after birth. Next came twin sons Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, and another son, Bull Schitt. Deep Schitt, married Dumb Schitt a high school dropout. Dip Schitt married Lotta Schitt, and they have a son Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens Brothers. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt, and Horace Schitt. Bull Schitt just married a spicy number. Pisa Schitt, and they are awaiting the arrival of baby Schitt.
                    Now you know Jack Schitt.

                    BULLETIN

                    The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) has determined that the maximum safe load capacity on my butt is two persons at one time, unless I install handrails or safety straps. As you have arrived sixth in line to ride my *** today, please take a number and wait your turn.

                    Thank you.

                    Some that I have held onto for a while. Friends passed them onto me. lol
                    Life is an adventure enjoy it. :flyaway: :35: :sunny!: :flowers:

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