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Don Burnsticks Jokes!!!!! Excellent JOKES!!!!

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  • Don Burnsticks Jokes!!!!! Excellent JOKES!!!!

    DON BURNSTICK JOKES....>
    YOU MIGHT BE A REDSKIN (NDN) IF YOU>
    you have blankets for curtains...
    your dogs look like their going on a hunger strike...
    you have more than 5 cars and only one of them works...and thats only in the summer, because in the winter, its too cold for it to start up....lol
    you use ketchup and water to fill your bingo dabber...
    you use a close hanger for a car antenna...
    your cars only alarm is the sound of it opening up a mile away and the hunger struck dog inside....
    you can fit 16 indians in a ford pickup or a honda...
    you go swimming in your underwear...
    you go to AA meetings just for coffee...
    you hide your money in your sock, dont hide it in your bra, it'll be found anyway
    you go to KFC to celebrate thanksgiving
    you use your sons hockey bag for a bingo bag
    you bank at the money mart
    you ever skinned road kill.... "oh look at that deer...oh....uh...we'll come back when its dark...." LOL
    you ever shot a deer or a moose inside your house "hey.... what is that......honey, bring me my .22!!!"
    the most violent day in your community is election day..."WHYD YOU VOTE FOR HIM? HE'S NOT EVEN YOUR COUSIN!!!"
    the most confusing day in your community is fathers day...
    you can properly execute the red river gig with rubber boots on....
    if you carry a five gallon jug and a cut up garden hose in the trunk of your car...
    if you try to make dry meat out of balony...
    if your pocket knife has ever been display as "exhibit A your honor"
    you use your probation officer as a reference...
    if your screen door has no screen on it...
    if people can hear your car long before they can see it...
    you been kicked out of several rehab centers for snagging...
    you met your current spouse in a AA rehab...
    your toolbox consists of duck tape and a butterknife...

    ah...yeah im a actor....I'm doing a sequel to "indian in the cupboard" its called "indian in the bingo hall" and...i was on that soap opera "those all my children"
    Last edited by Aaron; 02-02-2004, 07:07 PM.

  • #2
    boy i needed that thanks hahaha lmfao i liked the part about the ketchup haha and about all the cars and only 1 working gah le i gotta tell that to my cuzins :Chatter :Chatter :rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2:

    You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling And ooh wee it's the ultimate feeling
    You got me lifted feeling so gifted Sugar how you get so fly?¿?


    ****Mary had a little lamb but grandma butchered it****

    Comment


    • #3
      yeh i know

      good jokes eh?!!!

      Comment


      • #4
        aye, reminded me of up home. lol.
        Truth is like the sun, you can shut it out for a time, but it ain't going away.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by rezgirl06
          aye, reminded me of up home. lol.
          lmao :Chatter i know me 2 i was like this all sounds familiar y?

          You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling And ooh wee it's the ultimate feeling
          You got me lifted feeling so gifted Sugar how you get so fly?¿?


          ****Mary had a little lamb but grandma butchered it****

          Comment


          • #6
            AH

            DON BURNSTICK IS THE FUNNIEST!!!!!!!!!!

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            • #7
              I have some.......

              You wake up with both a black eye and a hickey.
              You go to a drinking party for a haircut.
              You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
              You don't give engagement rings, you give hickeys.
              Your bangs have ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
              Your girlfriend has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
              A favorite pick up line is "Are you my cousin?"
              You know if she hits you.. she likes you.
              Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
              You've been too drunk to dance.
              Your Momma would rather go to the bingo than the PTA.
              Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a bingo.
              You think that Tylenol 3 is a miracle drug.
              The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
              Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of
              gas in the truck.
              Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed.
              Your dog looks like he's on hunger strike.
              There are more dogs than kids on the street.
              You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front
              yard.
              It's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.
              Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.
              You've ever used a weed eater because the lawn mower keeps
              blowin'.
              You give up and burn your lawn.
              You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
              You have 5 cars that are immobile and a house that isn't!
              Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job, primer red and primer
              gray.
              The primary color of your car is "bondo".
              If going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves
              putting on shoes a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.
              You actually know which kind of leaves make the best substitute
              for toilet paper.
              You mow your lawn and find a car.
              There is a sheet hanging in your window and a gun rack hanging in
              your truck.
              You have a rag for a gas cap (on a car that does run).
              You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.
              The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the
              front ones.
              You just bought an 8-track player to put in your car.
              There are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.
              You have spent more on your injun car than on your education.
              You've ever hit a deer with your car... on purpose! (now that's
              fast food)
              You've ever used the term "Over by dem".
              The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Treatment or
              Healing".
              Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
              You call your boss "Dad", on a regular basis. (cause he's the
              chief)
              You know the term "musical wives".
              The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "Bingo!"
              You have more than two brothers named Junior.
              You've barbequed spam on the grill.
              You think that bannock and weiners are two of the major food
              groups.
              You know 5 different ways to fillet bologna.
              Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size
              bottle of ketchup.
              You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouerve.
              You think that Don Perignon is a Mafia leader.
              You've ever cleaned fish in your living room.
              Your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a six-pack.
              You consider kraft dinner to be a gourmet food.
              You consider a three piece suit to be: your fav AC/DC t shirt,
              jeans, and runners.
              You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.
              You own at least 20 baseball hats.
              You own more than three bell bottom t shirts with the sleeves cut off.
              Three quarters of the clothes you own have LOGOS on them.
              Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people".
              The theme song at your high school prom was `Friends in Low
              Places'.
              ٭×o× yоu +ried +o ∫eâve me ßu+ you need me ©an+ you §ee your âddi©ted to me, WE got a love thaNg ×o×٭

              "thats how i roll..." Jack Black after kicking baxter the dog off a bridge in Anchorman

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              • #8
                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ hahaha lmao :Chatter :lol2: :rofl2: :rofl2:

                You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling And ooh wee it's the ultimate feeling
                You got me lifted feeling so gifted Sugar how you get so fly?¿?


                ****Mary had a little lamb but grandma butchered it****

                Comment


                • #9
                  ah...

                  Now thats getttin in the don burnstick spirit...ahhh...lol
                  MORE JOKES!!!

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                  • #10
                    KEEP THE JOKES COMING ANY MORE GOODER ONES???????:Chatter :D :clap:
                    STARGAZING @ MIDNITE

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                    • #11
                      And And And...what about...
                      You ever had to use a bread bag in your rubber boot
                      You ever had washing-line "burn" on your neck from running into one
                      You ever stuck a spoon in your kool-aid and put in freezer
                      You ever used "Lard/Shortening" on your Toast
                      You ever had a mud cake making contest when you were small
                      MAY OUR WORDS FLOW FROM THE HEART FOR TRUTH, ENTER THE MIND FOR TACT TO CARRY IN OUR VOICE FOR EXPRESSION.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by biidabinukwe06
                        aye, reminded me of up home. lol.

                        I love your little saying!! The one about happiness!! That's great!!

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                        • #13
                          To Aaron & Clara-feina, I just found this thread. I know you wrote this over a year ago, but I don't know weather to or !
                          "Riches from the heart can not be stolen."

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by eeyouskow
                            And And And...what about...
                            You ever had to use a bread bag in your rubber boot
                            You ever had washing-line "burn" on your neck from running into one
                            You ever stuck a spoon in your kool-aid and put in freezer
                            You ever used "Lard/Shortening" on your Toast
                            You ever had a mud cake making contest when you were small
                            DANG...can you just see that? clothes line burn. polly knocked down all the clothes, tongue hanging out

                            Comment

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