Inside The Nba Brough To You By Colonah Not Hyundai

[middle of the sky]

probably some kinda alien abduction...or sumthin..ok ok..i know nuthin bout basketball cept a canadian invented it...and the grizzlies sucked...

[Joe's Dad]

Run out of things to say!!!


I hate when I do this.

Tapping foot...


We're waiting.

Sorry C!

There was nuttin in your post when I read it!

Let me go see what you wrote.


JD

[Ndnsoldierboy]

I used to hate when Red Auerbach would light his cigar!

Well there was the SHOWTIME era...they were fun to watch.

[Joe G]

Inside The Nba Eastern Conference

Let's See How Did That Gibb Brothers Song Go? 'you Can Tell By The Way We Walk Our Walk..we're Wanted Men No Time To Talk...whether Your A Brother Or Whether Your A Mother.....stayin Alive Stayin Alive I I I I Stayin Aliiiiiiiiiveee!!!!!!' This Is Tonights Theme As Detroit Staves Off Elimination 91-78...
This Team Is About As Hard To Get Rid Of As Irs Agents....so Here We Go Again! Even The Detroit Papers And Sports Writers Thought They'd Fold Tonight..and Quit...
Uh Huh, And Gasoline Will Cost $1 A Gallon Tomorrow, Right??
So Hoopsters, How'd This Occur?? Let's Check The Key Stats....field Goals Pistons 33-77...heat 34 Of 77...so Both Teams Get 77 Shots....rebounds Pistons 42...heat 40....turnovers Heat 16 Pistons 13....assists Heat 21, Pistons 19....but Free Throws Heat 6-20 And Pistons 23-26...so Plus 17 Pts There Tho Personal Fouls Were Heat 25-pistons 19...and Some Of The Heat Fouls Were Late Trying To Save Time, And Regain The Ball...
The Key Was The Man Below...tayshaun Prince,who Scored A Career (playoff) High Of 29 Pts On 11-15 From Floor (2-5 3s) And 5-5 From The Stripe....while Wade Was Changed At Least Most Of The Way Back To Clark Kent...
But The Best!!!!!! Thing To Happen And You Had To Love This One....was Ben Wallace Stuffing Shaq...on A Dunk Attempt...and Knocking Him To The Floor....how Many Times Has The Colossus Of Calories Had That Happen To Him?????? Ahhhh One For The Ages!!!!!!
Memo To D Wade....winning The East, And The Championship...are Not!!!!! Your Birthright!
So What Next? Will The Pistons Lose In Miami...or Will The Heat Have To Face The Possibility Of Being Up 3-2 Two Years In A Row...only To Choke?????
Well, So Far, In This Series, Hamilton/billups/rasheed Have Not All Scored Or Shot Well In The Same Game....in Fact Rasheed Was Nearly Taken In To Custody By The Fbi As Jimmy Hoffa's Remains...since He Has All But Disappeared In This Series...if These Guys Can Shoot 50% Or Better In Game 6, Detroit Will Prevail.....and I Don't Think The Heat Want To Face A Game 7 Here In The Motor City.....
But If Detroit Forgets Again That Defense And Teamwork Are What Makes Them Special....and Doesn't 'dance With Who Brung 'em' The Next Bee Gees Song Dedicated To Them Will Be (of Course!) 'jive Talkin'

[Joe's Dad]

Let's See How Did That Gibb Brothers Song Go? 'you Can Tell By The Way We Walk Our Walk..we're Wanted Men No Time To Talk...whether Your A Brother Or Whether Your A Mother.....stayin Alive Stayin Alive I I I I Stayin Aliiiiiiiiiveee!!!!!!' This Is Tonights Theme As Detroit Staves Off Elimination 91-78...
This Team Is About As Hard To Get Rid Of As Irs Agents....so Here We Go Again! Even The Detroit Papers And Sports Writers Thought They'd Fold Tonight..and Quit...
Uh Huh, And Gasoline Will Cost $1 A Gallon Tomorrow, Right??
So Hoopsters, How'd This Occur?? Let's Check The Key Stats....field Goals Pistons 33-77...heat 34 Of 77...so Both Teams Get 77 Shots....rebounds Pistons 42...heat 40....turnovers Heat 16 Pistons 13....assists Heat 21, Pistons 19....but Free Throws Heat 6-20 And Pistons 23-26...so Plus 17 Pts There Tho Personal Fouls Were Heat 25-pistons 19...and Some Of The Heat Fouls Were Late Trying To Save Time, And Regain The Ball...
The Key Was The Man Below...tayshaun Prince,who Scored A Career (playoff) High Of 29 Pts On 11-15 From Floor (2-5 3s) And 5-5 From The Stripe....while Wade Was Changed At Least Most Of The Way Back To Clark Kent...
But The Best!!!!!! Thing To Happen And You Had To Love This One....was Ben Wallace Stuffing Shaq...on A Dunk Attempt...and Knocking Him To The Floor....how Many Times Has The Colossus Of Calories Had That Happen To Him?????? Ahhhh One For The Ages!!!!!!
Memo To D Wade....winning The East, And The Championship...are Not!!!!! Your Birthright!
So What Next? Will The Pistons Lose In Miami...or Will The Heat Have To Face The Possibility Of Being Up 3-2 Two Years In A Row...only To Choke?????
Well, So Far, In This Series, Hamilton/billups/rasheed Have Not All Scored Or Shot Well In The Same Game....in Fact Rasheed Was Nearly Taken In To Custody By The Fbi As Jimmy Hoffa's Remains...since He Has All But Disappeared In This Series...if These Guys Can Shoot 50% Or Better In Game 6, Detroit Will Prevail.....and I Don't Think The Heat Want To Face A Game 7 Here In The Motor City.....
But If Detroit Forgets Again That Defense And Teamwork Are What Makes Them Special....and Doesn't 'dance With Who Brung 'em' The Next Bee Gees Song Dedicated To Them Will Be (of Course!) 'jive Talkin'

Where's JoeG..you know,,,the columnist that usually writes here. The guy who wrote this is too UNBIASED!!!


Yeah, free throws were the difference. Detroit played a great game. Yeah, I believe the Detroit coach, Flip Wilson, musta talked to John Wooden about how do you attack the basket! Chauncey Billups played a solid game, with plenty of assists. Go to the hole!

Now about Rasheed...Do you think he'll be around next year?

Amost forgot. Miami has to win 50% of the games remaining in this series, while Detroit must win 100% of the remaining games. Yeah, it's a tossup.







Bill Walton

[Ndnsoldierboy]

Mebbe it will go 7 games...Hmmm? hope so...

[Joe G]

Inside The Nba Conference Finals

Well Hoopsters....shaq Has Avoided The Trifecta Of Being Eliminated 3 Years In A Row By Detroit....as The Heat Advance To The Finals...95-78. So Detroit's Run Of 3 Straight Eastern Conference Championships Is Over.
What Happened? How Did The Pistons, Winners Of 63 Games, And The Beast Of The East Fold To A Point Where Your Local Jr Varsity Team Could Shoot Better?
Lets' Check The Stats: Shots From Field 27 0f 81....33% Heat 39 Of 70...55.7%....hmmm 27 Of Frikkin 81? 1 Out Of Every 3 Shots Made??? Free Throws Detroit 18-24..heat
11--17 Rebs Heat 48 Detroit 39, Turnovers Detroit 6, Miami 12....so Detroit Was Basically Killed By Not Getting Hardly Any Points In The Paint..and Not Being Able To Shoot Jump Shots From The Perimeter And Not Many If Any Putbacks...
As Much As It Pains Me To Admit It, Shaq Was The Difference...and Played Fantastic W/ 28 Pts And 16 Rebs...he Manhandled The Pistons...and Kept Them In A Stand Around Perimeter Style Game...with Not Much Ball Movement Or Fast Break Pts....and That Overgrown Juvenile Delinquent Jason Williams Played Well...going 10-12 And Scoring 21......
Detroit Was Beaten From About Qtr One...with No Help From Rasheed, Chauncey, Or Tayshaun....only Rip Played Tonight W/ 33 Pts But Many Were Garbage Time Pts....after It Was Decided....so Who Wears The Goat Horns??? Well Chauncey, An All Star, Played Like The Chauncey Of Old..when Seemingly No Nba Team Wanted Him.....3 0f 14 And 0 Of 3 From 3 Pt...mr Big Shot??? And Rasheed...4 Of 12....and No Factor At All Down Low...
Since Detroit Was Outmanned In The Low Post, Why On Earth Didn't They Run More...and Try To Fast Break??? Uhhh Flip???
Shaq Can't Get Back On D If You Really Run The Floor...
So Kudos To Miami For Eliminating Detroit...and There Are Many Questions To Be Answered For Detroit In The Off Season...how'd We Go From 104 Pts A Game...and Dominating The League..to 78 When It Matters Most?
Larry Brown Must Be Popping A Champagne Some Where In Ny...and Flip May Be Looking For Work..soon Along W/ Rasheed....it Really Did Look Like The Heat Wanted It More...and Detroit's Trademark Defense, And Rebounding Which Used To Look Like A Hungy Lion Tearing In To Meat....looked Like A Bunch Of Overfed *****cats....and Their Vaunted Ability To Overcome Adversity Is Gone....
And Who'd We Draft In The First Round, Umm Darko Something....while D Wade And Carmello Were Still Available....hmmmm Oh Well Such Is The Fate Of The Nba General Manager...once Michael Jordan Was Passed Over For Sam Bowie..by The Portland Trailblazers....this One Was Almost As Bad....
Memo To Kenny Smith...start Up The Fishing Boat....the Pistons Will Be There Shortly..but Be Careful!! When They Cast Any Lures...you Saw How They Shot The Ball!!!! Keep Your Head Up.....!!!
Well Hoopsters, This Column Will Continue Until After The Championship Is Decided....hope You Have Enjoyed It...i May Do It Again Next Year..although I Am Weighing Those Offers From Espn/tnt....and Others...but No!!!! Hyundais In Detroit, Thank You!

[Ndnsoldierboy]

Well Game # 1 is to start in the western conference for the finals as both the Suns and the Mavs have better records than Miami. Should be interesting to say the least.
Next time Motown...

[Joe G]

Inside The Nba Conference Finals West

Well Hoopsters, The Finals Are Set As The Mavs Eliminate The Suns 4-2 By Winning Game 6 102-93.....
This Game Was Pretty Even As Far As The Stats....but The Difference Proved To Be Depth, As The Mavs Go About 8 Or 9 Deep, While Injuries Limit The Suns To About 5 And 1/2 Effective Players...w/ 6'8" Boris Diaw In The Pivot And 6'7" Shawn Marion As The Power Forward...and Nobody Anywhere Near The Size Of Dork Nowitzke...
Some Of You Prolly Like Dork And Wonder Why I Call Him Dork Instead Of Dirk.....well....after Hitting 23-25 Free Throws The Other Day, He Revealed His Secret, Which Was Humming A Song By David Hasselhoff To Concentrate!!! Frikkin David Hasselhoff!!!!!!!!!!!! Gimme A Break, This Ain't Baywatch...and He Ain't A Singer Either!!!! Dayuumm Of All Th Ehuman Beings To Put Voice To Music That He Could Have Picked.....hasslehoff???
Anyways...kudos To The Suns..who Got The Absolute Max Out Of Their Team, Despite Being Down To About The 3rd String On The Front Line...if Amare And Thomas And Raja Bell Had Been Fully Healthy, Then Diaw And Raja And Barbossa Are The 6,7, And 8th Players...and I Personally Don't Think They Would Have Lost. When Healthy, Nobody On The Mavs Could Deal W/ Amare (hell Nobody In The Whole Nba Can Cover Him) And He Could Counteract The Inside Game And Rebounding Of Dork.
Watch Out Next Year If Amare Comes Fully Back..as All The Other Suns Are Now A Lot Better By What Happened This Year....
So Heat Vs. Mavs.....for The Championship....this Should Get Interesting...but If Shaq Is Healthy, And Plays As He Did Against Detroit....and D Wade Is His Usual Self...then I See The Heat Winning In 6...but That's Only True If They Don't Suffer Another Of Their Famous Internal Locker Room Blow Ups...and With Walker/williams/payton...and Shaq And Wade...this Could Easily Happen...but Only If They Get Behind In The Series...winning Shuts A Lot Of Mouths...
Now Dallas Has The Better Overall Team Depth, But Avery Johnson And Del Harris Are Not In The Class Of Pat Riley When It Comes To Making Adjustments....right Flip??? So The Coaching Edge Goes To The Heat Too....
Stay Tuned....

[Joe's Dad]

I haven't posted on here cuz I'm still Mourning the meltdown of the Pistons!





Jusss kiddin 'C'.

[Joe G]

Inside The Nba Championship Edition

SO, HOOPSTERS....GAME ONE GOES TO THE MAVS 90-80....AND THEY ASSUME A 1 GAME LEAD....
Hmmm did you see the elbow to the chops from SHAQ to Nowitzke?? This was likely at least semi-intentional...and Stackhouse given a taste of forearm too....w/ 3 stitches...welcome to what Ben Wallace had to deal with....
To read the web today....such as nba.com..you'd almost think the Heat may as well surrender now, and just award the trophy to Dallas....and get it over with...but *THIS JUST IN*...the game was AT DALLAS!!!!! and championship level teams are hard to beat at home...
Overall, the Mavs have a lot better depth, and team speed...and look to be the better team, but this series is a HELL of a long ways from over...though Miami must take better care of the basketball, and shoot free throws better too....as well as get better play from players such as Walker, Haslem, and J Will and not rely totally on SHAQ and Wade to score....they need to force this in to a grind it out 1/2 court physical series, but that won't be easy with the new NBA rules...emphasizing offense over defense...
Miami was built to deal w/ Detroit....and get out of the East...by hammering the PISTONS inside the paint..and exploiting their lack of scoring in the low post...but overall, they are WAY too slow to run with Dallas, or the Suns, or even Detroit...who stubbornly stood around WAY too much against them...
But selling them short this early is a mistake, they will play better, and Pat Riley is as good as any coach at adjusting game plans to changing scenarios....

[DANTS]

Check'n Back on YUZ from the Future...........

6/15/06

AND the MAVERICKS take the heat with a clean SWEEP!!!!

[Joe G]

Hmmm what did I say LAST WEEK? let's see....oh yeah , it was: "But selling them short this early is a mistake, they will play better, and Pat Riley is as good as any coach at adjusting game plans to changing scenarios...." so what happened? It's 2-2 now, and the frontrunner types are talking about Dallas folding now...well, it AIN'T gonna happen...they will play better again...as well..this series is going 6 or 7 as I thought.
Oh and for all the really great things D Wade has done...which have been hall of fame stuff....isn't there anybody else getting more than a little tired of his 'Injuries/Sickness' reported before every game? suck it up and play before somebody REALLY injures you...
and wait! *THIS JUST IN* Jerry Stackhouse is suspended for game 5 for get this, flagrantly fouling Shaquile O'Neal!!! now THAT'S funny!!! this is about like suspending somebody for punching Mike Tyson during a bout!!! Not even to mention that Jerry is giving up more than 100 lbs. and 6 inches of height.....MEMO to the league and Mr. Stern.....remember Shaq elbowing Ben Wallace and NOTHING is called? or Shaq making Dork Nowitzke bleed w/ an elbow...and that goes as an 'incidental contact'! damn....the officiating is becoming almost comical...and almost as entertaining as the games!!
Well.....enjoy hoopsters...only at most 3 games left this year....but as an appetizer, in the pre-season next October....in San Juan Puerto Rico.....Miami plays.....guess who? the DETROIT PISTONS......

[Joe G]

Inside The Nftsa Game 6 Style...

What the hell's the NFTSA?? you ask....it's the National Free Throw Shooting Association...and this is the way the NBA is headed. There are FAR too many tickytack fouls called, and games are being decided by this....There seems to be a move afoot to change the NBA to less physical..and more like the International and Olympic style....hmmmm WTO as Basketball strategy??
But the name of the game is $$$ and Mr. Stern thinks this is the way to more widespread Basketball....and more $$$....
Will defense become illegal?? will the NBA be politically correct, and totally non violent? will it become like the NHL..where nobody watches anymore and the Stanley Cup playoffs rate lower in TV market share than re-runs of Nixon's greatest speeches?? Stay Tuned .....
Anyways...3-2 HEAT!!! wooohoooo this game was well played...and might have gone either way....but as is becoming too typical...the stars dribble right in to the teeth of the defense, knowing they'll get the call....and free throws decide the outcome....Hell, in Today's NFTSA, Rick Barry woulda scored and average of 75 pts..!! underhand free throws and all....
Miami will need to close this out in game 6....or the big MO will swing back to Dallas....

[Joe's Dad]

What the hell's the NFTSA?? you ask....it's the National Free Throw Shooting Association...and this is the way the NBA is headed. There are FAR too many tickytack fouls called, and games are being decided by this....There seems to be a move afoot to change the NBA to less physical..and more like the International and Olympic style....hmmmm WTO as Basketball strategy??
But the name of the game is $$$ and Mr. Stern thinks this is the way to more widespread Basketball....and more $$$....
Will defense become illegal?? will the NBA be politically correct, and totally non violent? will it become like the NHL..where nobody watches anymore and the Stanley Cup playoffs rate lower in TV market share than re-runs of Nixon's greatest speeches?? Stay Tuned .....
Anyways...3-2 HEAT!!! wooohoooo this game was well played...and might have gone either way....but as is becoming too typical...the stars dribble right in to the teeth of the defense, knowing they'll get the call....and free throws decide the outcome....Hell, in Today's NFTSA, Rick Barry woulda scored and average of 75 pts..!! underhand free throws and all....
Miami will need to close this out in game 6....or the big MO will swing back to Dallas....

And then they'll bring back the 'set shot'!