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Bush's Resume

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  • Bush's Resume

    (some are a little "reaching", but still thought this was interesting to say the least) ;)

    BUSH'S RESUME:
    I attacked and took over two countries
    I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the US Treasury.
    I shattered the record for the biggest annual deficit in history (not
    easy!).
    I set an economic record for the most personal bankruptcies filed in any
    month period.
    I set all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
    stockmarket.
    I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
    I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal
    record.
    In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on
    vacation by any president in US history (tough to beat my dad's, but I
    did).
    After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over
    the worst security failure in US history.
    I set the record for most campaign fund raising trips by any president in
    US history.
    In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
    I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any other
    president in US history.
    I set the all-time record for most real estate foreclosures in a 12-month
    period.
    I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any
    president in US history.
    I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any president, since
    the advent of TV.
    I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any
    other US president in history.
    I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused
    To intervene when corruption was revealed.
    I cut health care benefits for war veterans.
    I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take
    to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for
    protest against any person in the history of mankind.
    I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
    I've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US
    history.
    Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history.
    (The poorest multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker
    named after her).
    I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union
    simultaneously struggle against bankruptcy.
    I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud in any market in
    any country in the history of the world.
    I am the first president in US history to order a US attack and military
    occupation of a sovereign nations, and I did so against the will of the
    United Nations and the vast majority of the international community.
    I have created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history
    of the United States, called the "Bureau of Homeland Security"(only one
    letter away from BS).
    I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases,
    More than any other president in US history (Ronnie was tough to beat, but
    I
    did it!!).
    I am the first president in US history to compel the United Nations remove
    the US from the Human Rights Commission.
    I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove
    The US from the Elections Monitoring Board.
    I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of
    congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.
    I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
    I withdrew from the World Court of Law.
    I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default
    no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
    I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election
    inspectors access during the 2002 US elections.
    I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign
    donations.
    The biggest lifetime contributor to my campaign, who is also one of my best
    friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in
    world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
    I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US
    history.
    I took the world's sympathy for the US after 9/11,and in less than a year
    made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest
    diplomatic failure in US and world history).
    I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of
    Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace
    And stability.
    I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government
    contracts.
    I set the all-time record for the number of administration appointees who
    violated US law by not selling their huge investments in corporations
    bidding for gov't contracts.
    I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any
    other president in US history. In a little over two years.
    I have created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most
    divided that the US has been since the Civil War.
    I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than
    two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.
    RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
    I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving
    record has been erased and is not available).
    I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military during time of
    war.
    I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
    All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my
    fathers library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
    All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt
    companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
    All minutes of meetings of any public corporation for which I served on the
    board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
    Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP)attended regarding public
    energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
    PERSONAL REFERENCES:
    For personal references, please speak to my dad or
    Uncle James Baker (They can be reached in their
    offices at the Carlyle Group where they are helping to
    divide up the spoils of the US-Iraq war and plan for
    the next one).

    (Note: this information should be useful to voters in the 2004 election.
    Circulate to as many citizens you think would be helped to be reminded
    about this.)

  • #2
    I sent this to my friends we need him out, unfortunately I live in Florida where the poles don't count & the bushes owns the poles
    don't you be wastin' all your money
    on syrup and honey because i'm sweet enough





    Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.

    Comment


    • #3
      You might add that he has the lowest IQ of any president since IQ
      tests were invented.

      So LET'S VOTE THIS IDIOT OUT OF OFFICE IN 2004! OR STILL
      BETTER, BEGIN IMPEACHMENT PROCEEDINGS !!NOW!!
      alamosaurus

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by alamosaurus
        You might add that he has the lowest IQ of any president since IQ
        tests were invented.

        So LET'S VOTE THIS IDIOT OUT OF OFFICE IN 2004! OR STILL
        BETTER, BEGIN IMPEACHMENT PROCEEDINGS !!NOW!!
        :clap: :guns: I'm right there with you
        don't you be wastin' all your money
        on syrup and honey because i'm sweet enough





        Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.

        Comment


        • #5
          I know who I'm voting for.
          "Never be bullied into silence.
          Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."

          Comment


          • #6
            You can also add that he is the first president to not add an endangered species on the endander species list.

            To forget about congress and pass laws that wreck the environment.

            Hhhmmm.....what else?

            Oh, the first president to believe that CO2 does not cause global warming.




            There's more, but I'm cloudy right now. :Chatter
            "Support Bacteria. It's the only culture some people have."

            "I can't sleep, the clowns will eat me."

            "Things are more like today than they ever have been."

            Comment

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