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  • Dad & brother & need someone to speak to.

    I need someone to help me with various things. I hope someone knows what positive thinking is,because I need it. I can't figure out how to say this. Dad died last year in February & brother is in prison. I've been going to church & try to help myself.Plus I don't get spoken to on here or anywhere. I feel like I've had my feelings hurt on here & I don't know if anyone or everyone hates me on here,anywhere else or what. I feel that not just on here but elsewhere both online & offline that things have gone non-deservingly downhill. I really don't know if it's my fault here,anywhere online or offline or anything anymore. Also,it's now where I don't know if I i want to post on here or speak to anyone on here anymore or anything else.

  • #2
    What your are going through is normal my friend my father also passed away in feb I am 23 it has been a rough road especially my first child was born week after my dads passing... I was very very close to my father.... Every day is a battle for me to make it through the day trust me you are not alone there is a article I read was about when people loose there father it is on the website the art of manliness was a really good article and it someone made me feel like I am not alone in my feelings... My dad went through so much in life beat lung cancer and beat calapsed lung putting him on oxygen.. Then 5 years later going In to the hospital for not feeling well and getti g a infection from the hospital so trust me you are not alone I feel your pain...
    "Do not judge a man unless you have walked two moons in his moccasins."

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    • #3
      mathewhebailey08 - you are not alone here. Just talk to us and may join the games in Chit Chat section. I am sorry for your loss. Unfortunately? I am almost the last one of my family still alive - I had to go through many losses, but that happens when getting older - yes I suffer - I went through the heavy pains - it took me years to settle calmer on these losses and on top of it my only child abandoned me, so I got nobody left of my family who ever would care for me. Friends? Hm... oh yes, I got a good friend living in CA while I have to live in Germany, being german and no means to travel and hope is getting smaller ever seeing my Tohono O'Odham friend again alive. Fact is - nobody cares for me in Germany - I do - but they don't seem to need it, they already got enough that care for them - so they don't take any interest in me. Not sure about my BF how much he cares. I think he does but he lives in another town. I would like to live with him to have at least one person in my life I can care for and who'd care for me. Why do I write this? I don't want to brag about my hardship in life - just to say, that you are not alone. I understand you exactly when you say things have gone undeservingly downhill - I can tell - many could tell. Just feel welcome here and join Powwows.com community by reading, posting, whatever you like - if you like. In time you'll make friends here - give it time - being in a big cloud of grief - I understand. Start doing things you like to do - slowly...

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      • #4
        Another thing that helps me I don't know if it is smart for the healing process but stay really busy and don't think about it to much hard but you have to be that busy.. Another thing that helps is someone told me think about your father not what has happened but the good things and memories you share. I have been working on my new outfit and my father loved eagles so in memory of my father I am planning to bead a soaring eagle and as I bead every little bead I will think of those memories or the amazing times we shared the long road trips truck driving everything he ever taught me... And I know how hard it is to talk to someone that is not going through the same thing as you cause they say they understand but the measure of it only you can
        "Do not judge a man unless you have walked two moons in his moccasins."

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        • #5
          Originally posted by mathewhebailey08 View Post
          I need someone to help me with various things. I hope someone knows what positive thinking is,because I need it. I can't figure out how to say this. Dad died last year in February & brother is in prison. I've been going to church & try to help myself.Plus I don't get spoken to on here or anywhere. I feel like I've had my feelings hurt on here & I don't know if anyone or everyone hates me on here,anywhere else or what. I feel that not just on here but elsewhere both online & offline that things have gone non-deservingly downhill. I really don't know if it's my fault here,anywhere online or offline or anything anymore. Also,it's now where I don't know if I i want to post on here or speak to anyone on here anymore or anything else.

          It's rough when you lose someone close to you. They say that "time heals," but to tell the truth, there are still times after almost 16 years that I get my eyes welling up missing my husband.

          With all due respect to the site, this is not a good place to work through grief or even to make friends. I'm not even on here very often any more. I have met a few friends, but I have been soured on some "friends" here, finding out some are not all they seem to be.

          It is ridiculous to think you can play games in chit chat and do mindless things to fill your life with the void you are feeling. Highwolf is right that if you are busy you will not think about it as much, but eventually you will fall into bed and in the still of the night, the grief will come back to you.

          There is no way out of it. You can delay it some, but you have to go through it. Some need a buddy to get through it. Some want to be alone. I think you need a buddy.

          You said you need someone to help you with various things. One thing that a person can do when they lose a parent is find an older and wise person to talk to. There are many elders who are very helpful with things like that. I found that my aunt was a natural substitute for motherly advice when I needed a mother. I found one of my uncles to be helpful when I needed a man's advice.

          Is there an elderly person or a person your dad's age (if he wasn't that old) that you can hang out with?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by mathewhebailey08 View Post
            I need someone to help me with various things. I hope someone knows what positive thinking is,because I need it. I can't figure out how to say this. Dad died last year in February & brother is in prison. I've been going to church & try to help myself.Plus I don't get spoken to on here or anywhere.

            I feel like I've had my feelings hurt on here & I don't know if anyone or everyone hates me on here,anywhere else or what.

            I feel that not just on here but elsewhere both online & offline that things have gone non-deservingly downhill. I really don't know if it's my fault here,anywhere online or offline or anything anymore.

            Also,it's now where I don't know if I i want to post on here or speak to anyone on here anymore or anything else.
            Matt, we want the best for you. Turn off your computer, go out and meet up with a person that knows you, understands your situation, somebody you can trust.

            Find a good place to meet and talk, maybe have a bit of lunch. Having an actual conversation is way better than posting on the internet.

            Put some work into your situation, you will feel better about it!
            sigpic

            Comment


            • #7
              Greef

              Originally posted by AmigoKumeyaay View Post
              Matt, we want the best for you. Turn off your computer, go out and meet up with a person that knows you, understands your situation, somebody you can trust.

              Find a good place to meet and talk, maybe have a bit of lunch. Having an actual conversation is way better than posting on the internet.

              Put some work into your situation, you will feel better about it!
              this is going to be hard for me to even talk about my dad with out tearing up. On december 31 2012 my dad passed. Due to brain cancer. Sence then I have had a year of mourning yes I have falowed that tradition. As most tribes have traditions on mourning. Like not dancing for a year and cutting hair short. But what I have Don in my life to combat the greefing prosses is going to the places were my dad took my sister and me. Also I light candles in his memorie. On days like my birthday or Christmas. That way he knows I care about him.I also attend or try to be apart of parades. And I do have a lot of friends to do things with. I'm thinking of him now and smialing he hears my thots. :)
              Life is what you make it.
              Remember to all ways smile no matter how your day is. All ways remember your relatives and annsesters.

              Comment

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