Feathers , feathers , feathers

[wardancer]

Greetings all , I have a few questions and I need some opinions.

As we all get older ours thoughts would ask : What will we do with our feathers when we cross over ? Who should get them ? All to 1 person or spread them out ? Are some more special than others ?

O.K. Now that I have your attention , here is MY personal situation. Years ago I divorced my children's mother. It was a long nasty divorce and I lost everything I worked for in the 34 years I was married to her. She stole everything that wasn't nailed down including a fair amount of things that she had no right to , but the judge wouldn't do anything about most of it.
The thing she didn't get was my regalia and most of my feathers. She did steal 1 nice tail fan by getting her atty. to write it up so it belonged to my son (which it didn't) so I let it slide. In the process of it all my 2 daughters and my son want nothing to do with me. So be it.
My current wife has children , but they don't follow ndn ways.
So what do I do with 35 years accumulation of regalia and eagle feathers. I have 3 complete outfits , 3 bustles , 5-6 fans , prolly 8-9 dance sticks , shields , 2 eagle staffs , war clubs , plus much more. Lots of beaded stuff.
Should I just let my wife deal with it after I'm gone ?
Should I go ahead and try to give it away before I die ?

My kids and grand kids have no interest , so I really don't think I'll leave them any of it.

Anyway , that's my poser. All opinions welcome......Why yes Joe'sDad , I'll prolly have something for you !

[wardancer]

By the way , just so you know , as far as I know I am healthy. I'm not planning on dieing any time soon. This is just something I've been thinking about. As each generation goes by also , the blood gets thinner. I know the law on feathers will allow non-carded relatives possess feathers as long as I leave a letter stating I gave them to them , eventually they will run out of places to go.

[storyteller]

Should I just let my wife deal with it after I'm gone ?
Should I go ahead and try to give it away before I die ?:

Answering these questions yourself now would be a kind gift to your wife, it seems to me. Deciding about a loved one's prized possessions after they've crossed over is such a difficult thing. She prolly wouldn't mind talking about it now while you are healthy, compared with the alternative of doing it without you later.

I vote for going to pow wows and finding veterans to gift your feathers too. Native wounded warriors--yep, that is my vote.

Hey I'll buy gas and drive you way north, find our own NSB. Right?

[wardancer]

Thank-you , that is another option I hadn't considered ! I even thought about some tribal youth group. The long waits for The Repository is hard for young people.

[Spiritflight]

You shouldn't be so alone in this decision. Is it not something that should be discussed with family or close friends? Was just an opinion, ofc up to you how you solve this "problem". I'd keep it within native community, vicinity as long as possible. Sorry, if my thoughts on this may appear wrong. It belongs to native culture as far as I see it.

[wardancer]

Just asking opinions. I'm not really alone , I have the Creator , my wife , a couple brothers and some cousins. I have some very close friends on here. This is just something I've had on my mind for a while. There is no "urgent need" to get this done.

[Joe's Dad]

And I was gonna see if you needed any help getting to the end faster!

Mine will go to my son. My girls don't dance Eagle Bustle!

Heck, the other day I was out to visit him, he overed on my beaded dance stick.

Nice to think of where things are gonna go when you cross over, wardancer. You still have about 40 years to decide where the feathers are going!

[Josiah]

Good to think ahead cause you never know...
In my own opinion they should always be passed on and used not stored away and hoarded.
I have a fan that was passed on to me it was made many many years ago and I fully expect to pass it on to somebody perhaps my daughter (red tail hawk)... of course I would pass on what is appropriate to whomever.

[wardancer]

And I was gonna see if you needed any help getting to the end faster!

Yes , always tryin' to help , aren't you JD ?

[wardancer]

Good to think ahead cause you never know...
In my own opinion they should always be passed on and used not stored away and hoarded.
I have a fan that was passed on to me it was made many many years ago and I fully expect to pass it on to somebody perhaps my daughter (red tail hawk)... of course I would pass on what is appropriate to whomever.

Well , you know Bon's wreck really makes you think. Things can change in the blink of an eye. A few inches farther over and that could have been a 2 fatality accident , so you just never know !Her and the other driver were both lucky as heck !

[Maize-Grower]

Just my opinion concerning any important thing you may want to give away or pass down:

As someone who has inherited considerable quantities of stuff from my great grandparents, I wish they'd gotten rid of all the junk beforehand, but I treasure the gems. By gems I don't mean diamonds and other mineral wealth; but things like love letters, their favorite coffee cups, the pre-depression handmade bookshelves, the old tools, postcards sent from Africa and the Pacific during WWII, the photo of my Gr Grandpa standing in Havana's colonial district in his Army Air Corps uniform in 1944. The little things they left behind that show who they are and what they like, and how they feel, and what was important to them; those are the things I was happy to inherit. I didn't understand the significance of them until after I became an adult. But I understand now. Maybe your kids are like me and will gain appreciation for your favorite things once they're grown. Who knows? Maybe they won't appreciate you 'till you're gone. But maybe leaving them some piece of your regalia will allow them to feel like they're connected to you even after you're gone. You never know how it will go. I'm not saying give em the whole thing, but maybe some part that's sentimental.

That's just my 2 cents.

[wardancer]

I appreciate your opinion , I really do. My children are all grown. The fact is if they don't want to be a part of my life , then so be it. I'll find others that will appreciate these things.

On another note , My Father was in the Army Air Corps and flew over Germany. He joined at 16 lying about his age. At 17 they found out and shipped him home. He turned 18 and joined The Marine Corps.

[Maize-Grower]

My parents have the same attitude. They're not interested in anything old. I find it disturbing among adults. It's normal for kids since they're easily swayed by shiny new things. I'm only 25, but I know things are important to pass down. I'm one of those odd ducks that listens more to uncles, aunts, and grandparents than to my parents. The family recipes, stories, and traditions skipped my parents (including step-parent). I don't get it. Why wouldn't they be interested? Well, just know you're not alone in having relatives like that. My grandma is always complaining about her kids...

[wardancer]

I am very aware that there are others out there that are in the same type of situation.That's why I posted the question I have an 80 yr. young Lakota friend that is in a similar situation. He has no children. He has a brother who is disabled and a nephew that doesn't dance. My friend has several outfits and is hinting that he may give them to me ! So now I'm trying to convince him that he should maybe find a youth group or somewhere to give them to. I can't wear all the stuff I already have. His words were , "I just want to make sure they go to real ndns and I know you'll make sure they do". What do I say to that ? LOL
Anyway , I'm still just getting opinions !

[wardancer]

Like Josiah , I agree that regalia items , especially feathers , should be out in the arena and not in some closet somewhere. This past month I've sent 4 wing fans and a couple bandoliers to family members for them to keep or re-gift. Seems though , the more I give away , the more I receive....hmmmm.....