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I entered the circle...

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  • I entered the circle...

    I danced!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!
    You know what..I danced on this nite. For my first time since Rocky Boy. It was such a great feeling! I feel like a million bucks. I have been helping with a funeral for the past two days. Today I went to "view" my friend who had passed on and I cried & had a few words w/ "him". I had this overwhelming feeling that I needed to dance. So there was a children’s powwow tonight and I went there and danced for everyone. I danced for all my loved ones. It was just so awesome seeing all my dresses again. Seeing my dresses was like seeing an old friend. I missed them and they missed me (CRAZY). I was just so happy. But you know what was HARD. My legs are still so weak and they felt like they were going to buckle and fall like wet noodles. I felt like I wanted to quit and walk off. But last week a "vision" (I know that sounds dumb) came and it was that my husbands outfit was crying for him..It wanted to be in that circle again and it missed him too ( my dresses must have felt this way too). He also talked w/ me about never leaving the dance circle either after a death..Like hours before we wrecked..and I thought to myself that there is no reason for me to not be out there dancing because he said for me never to leave it..even to wait a full year. I know their spirits were with me tonight. I know their spirits missed the circle too. It's like a dream I had about running late for a powwow..GUESS what? I was running late for this powwow. It also felt good to do it at home amongst my people, my felt good to raise my fan hear my own jingles. I don’t know, I am so emotional because I have been feeling so lost and like such a loser. On this nite I feel like I have found myself again, like something I felt was GONE has come back. I guess in a way I feel the way I would have felt if I was to see Daryl and happiness and joy is immeasurable. I know they are happy on this nite too, because their spirits got to dance along side me & they were happy to be back out there. Now, I just know that once I can feel good and not tired as I am dancing..that I can express my good feelings for everyone. I don't know how to say the thankfulness I have on this nite. I am thankful for life, for all the people who have treated me so well...those who had FAITH...for my husband and my daughter to choose me as a companion and mother...for the ability to express myself in that circle...I dunno..All I can say is yes there is a good spirit that touches you when you dance...our outfits and dresses have their own lil spirits too...I felt mine. I just wanted to share this. For me, this is one of the best gifts my husband and daughter gave me..the creator..the prayers that were made. I know I made my grandmother feel good to see her grand daughter dance AGAIN. The doctors said "I may not be able to dance"; I could have been a parapalegic..that I may not be able to walk normal..Or that I may have to wait for a year before I lose my limp (maybe to keep me from having TOO high of expectations to be the same). But our people have strong beliefs and these beliefs have shown themselves on this nite. It's weird because RIGHT as soon as I got home there was a little bunny sitting in my yard and a white owl flew over..I didn't feel bad or scared..but I felt that they were some type of signs. When I seen them I felt good, usually I feel afraid of something bad when I see an owl. This was a white owl and the bunny was white and they just made me get a sense that they were GOOD. I feel my daughter too..I feel she touched me and danced with me...I wore the exact same dress I last danced in. I didn’t fix the holes in my moccs..I just left it all that last nite I wore it dresses locked away in storage..and when I pulled them out again I wanted to hug them..I still had gum from Rocky Boy powwow stuck on my moccs...the number I had at Rocky Boy with my name on the back in Daryl's handwriting. So I chose to wear that same stuff I wore on my last nite of dancing, and wear it again for my first time dancing. My heart feels good, I feel like I am whole.
    Last edited by woggs; 02-26-2006, 04:24 AM.
    Nuwa-nu!!..Look at the Yummy Yaha's!!mmmm..mmm Real injun food!!
    Agai-Dika from the great state of potatoes (Lemhi Shoshone-Bannock). So Don't panic, I'm Bannock. P.S. heres my quote: uncle Gary Abrahamson "Don't sweat the petty things, Pet the sweat things!"
    :character:merrychri:eyelashes:eyelashes:eyelashes :eyelashes:
    eyelashes:eyelashes:eyelashes:eyelashes:eyelashes: eyelashes:

  • #2
    you're an amazing woman (who expresses herself beautifully btw!) inspiration to's wonderful that your return was so positive!
    many blessings...

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    • #3
      "We see it as a desecration not only of a mountain but of our way of life. This is a genocidal issue to us. If they kill this mountain, they kill our way of life." ~Debra White Plume


      • #4
        Way to go Homie!

        You GO Mizz Willow!...I'm not quite there yet, but i've got my fingers crossed and all...but here's a pic from last weekend of me and my new nephew.

        <a href="" target="_blank"><img src="" border="0" alt="Image hosting by Photobucket"></a>

        Geez I look TIRED!...LOL
        "Out greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us."

        "Never Compromise yourself, Your all you've got"

        "An eye for an eye will only lead to a blind world."


        • #5
          Girl you had me sitting here crying this morning... I still am. Man, I am so so sooooooooooooo happy and thankful for you. You kick so much azz!

          Dat, awwwwwwwwwww! lmao when I come up that way, how bout we're hittin Shipwrecked!!!!! hahahaha Brace yo self son!!!!!
          SHAKE IT!!!!


          • #6
            Willow...I read your posting on and felt so much happiness for you. You are doing just fine girl..keep it up.


            • #7
              Congratulations!! "Willow the Great Returns!!!!"
              "I'd rather be @ a POW-WOW!"


              • #8
                I'm amazed that a young native woman can have such strength, heart and will, after losing so much. I wish you and your son only the best in life. WW


                • #9
                  welcome back into the circle .. good to hear that you danced again. but be careful - don't do too much too soon.
                  Watch your broken dreams...
                  Dance in and out of the beams of a neon moon


                  • #10
                    Welcome back!!!

                    Wow!!! Tears of happiness ... that is wonderful Willow!!! Welcome back gurl!!!

                    "When the forest weeps, the Anishinabe who listens will look back at the years. In each generation of Ojibway there will be a person who will hear the si-si-gwa-d, who will listen and remember and pass it on to the children."

                    "Night Flying Woman"


                    • #11
                      congrats willow!!!!!!!!

                      it made me feel so happy to hear that you are dancing again!!! you are such a strong and beautiful women!!!! congrats!!!!!!!!
                      dancing from my heart never looking back at what i could have done always looking ahead to the next song!!!!
                      pain is weakness leaving tha body


                      • #12
                        Welcome back to the circle Willow! You are such an amazing, inspirational & strong, beautiful woman!
                        ~* Princess 2006-2007*~


                        • #13
                          You truly are an inspiration to all*sniff, sniff,hug* You are such a beautiful person inside and out. Thanks for sharing.
                          The focus determines the path.[COLOR=YellowGreen]undefined[/COL


                          • #14
                            I am so happy for you.


                            • #15
                              YAAY!!! I'm happy for you!!! Welcome back!!


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